It’s 7:02 p.m. on a Wednesday evening. I’m in Zeus, desperately trying to lock in for my prelim tomorrow, but I can’t stop thinking about all of the things I want to say in my very first article of my very first column. With Lizzy McAlpine in my ears, I can’t help but reminisce about every decision I’ve ever made in my life. And this sense of urgency and depth in thought pretty much sums me up as a person.
Because this is the first time you’re hearing from me, I think it’s important to communicate some of my own personal values that I have developed over the two years of me being a student at Cornell. From living in a house with 40 other girls to writing for The Sun, I am surrounded by opinions on a daily basis. I thought it was time I share some of mine in the best way I know how.
For today’s piece, I want to talk about one of the most important aspects of my life: my friends.
There are some things I am extremely passionate about in this life: women’s rights, hot girl walks, Jellycats. But nowadays, nothing gets me going quite like talking about the importance of strong, true female friendships in college. My friends here have consistently shown up for me in the most unimaginable and invaluable ways, and they’ve taught me so much about what it takes to show up for them too.
Having had a tight-knit friend group in high school, I was terrified at the thought of never finding people that invoked the same level of love, respect and admiration in me. The friends I have made since my first day on campus, however, have completely and utterly blown me away, and it is safe to say that they have changed the trajectory of my life.
Though this statement may lend itself to the fact that we are at one of the most prominent and selective universities in the country, the people here that I have gotten to know and love inspire me every single day. Between being international champions in their niche sports and activities (one of my best friends is literally a jump rope champion) and having such passion for their respective academic and career fields, there is no shortage of talent and dedication among my friends. They certainly push me to be the best version of myself, and I feel immense pride in them and their achievements. And even after all of their success, they are still my biggest cheerleaders when it comes to mine.
Most importantly, they have taught me the gravity of displaying outward and unequivocal support for my loved ones, even in times of personal struggle. Having recently gone through a breakup as someone who is relatively new to relationships, I was unsure of how to navigate uncharted waters, or how intense the waves in these waters would even be. On top of this, I was drowning in school work, extracurricular obligations and the emotions that come with being a 19-year-old girl existing on this planet (like many others at this university). However, it took not one ounce of verbalization from me for my friends to sniff out my melancholy and act.
While sitting on my bed, my roommate and our best friend exchange a glance. I knew they had plotted something. So, when one left and came back with her hands occupied with a woven basket full of goodies, my body just kind of melted into itself (my friends can attest to this statement).
“We know you’ve been going through a lot, and we wanted to show how much we love you,” my roommate said. To say I was overwhelmed with a deep feeling of gratitude is a colossal understatement, as I recognized an act of service such as this required my friends to take time out of their incredibly busy schedules to put together this basket full of chocolate (classic), flowers and the cutest sun plushie ever.
These “thinking of you” baskets have become a staple among my friends. And honestly, I think they could really put things in perspective for a lot of others on this campus too. In an environment riddled with intensely rigorous academics and roaring competition, it is so easy to feel alone. The fierce chill characteristic of Ithaca winters doesn’t help either.
Quite frankly, I am so tired of a busy schedule being the excuse for being a bad friend. I am not saying to shower your friends in expensive gifts and overwhelm them with cheesy messages. I am simply advocating for a little bit more consideration when it comes to the fact that, yes, you do have to maintain friendships if you want to continue to have them. It should feel good to uplift those you love, even if that is in the form of a simple “Hey, how are you?” text message every once in a while.
Conversely, your friends should display their love for you in the ways you need it most. Friendship is absolutely a two-way street, and if you have any doubts about if your friends are in it for the long haul, it might be a sign to bid a hearty adieu.
All this to say, I really hope some Cornellians pick their heads up from their computers and recognize the value of, you know, social interaction and genuine relationships with others. And I don’t mean putting all of your eggs in one basket (cutting off your relations with your friends and prioritizing a romantic partner). I know for me personally, I will always make my friendships a priority and brainstorm the ways in which I can foster these relationships further.
Maia Mehring is a Lifestyle co-editor on the 143rd editorial board. She is a sophomore in the School of Industrial and Labor Relations and can be reached at mmehring@cornellsun.com.
