LIFESTYLE | Style-Approved Rankings of 161

Well, it’s that time of year again. We, The Cornell Daily Sun, have arrived once more with the prophecy in our hands — the single most important list of your college experience. “The Slope Day lineup?” you ask. No, and it’s not next week’s grocery shopping list, either. It’s our iconic “161 List,” through which we steer you in the direction of becoming a true Cornellian.

However, this isn’t News speaking. It’s Lifestyle. We’ve come to put our two cents in on which activities are worth your time and which are maybe better off remaining as words on the page. A sort of “buy or bye” situation, if you will. Which are true Cornellian plot points, and which are misrepresentations?

The Must-Dos as a Proper Cornellian

1. Please go to Zeus at the ripe time of 2:55 p.m. and struggle to find a table (as number 3 suggests). Yes, you’ll be flustered and embarrassed. And, yes, everyone will know that you cannot find a table and that is why you are pacing the perimeter. But it’ll be hilarious for the rest of us camped out there since 10 a.m., and it’s a great character-building moment.
2. Listen to a full chimes concert from the clock tower and guess all of the songs played (number 12). It sounds crazy, but somehow the clock tower knows what you need to hear when you need to hear it. And if you happen to catch the right concert, you will know the songs, trust me. Maybe you’ll even be inspired to climb all 161 stairs of McGraw Tower.
3. I swear it gets colder throughout the day, especially on days when the forecast calls for sun and 70 degrees. Wake up one morning, get so super excited about the warmer weather (which is fool’s spring, by the way) and wear your finest shorts. Then, skip to class with a smile on your face and your favorite tunes in your ears. Get to class sweaty (this is important). Freeze in class because the academic buildings are set to 40 degrees. Finally, walk outside, have water well up in your eyes immediately and get nearly knocked over by the wind (number 15). You’ll be running home in no time.
4. You can run, but you can’t hide. Number 26 on the list will happen eventually. Bombing a prelim is a rite of passage for all Cornellians. Even the smartest of us end up covering our computer screen when grades are dropped. I know you were top of your class in high school. Get off your high horse and join us common folk.
5. Run out of BRBs in March, get denied by your parents for a refill and live off of campus events’ free food for the rest of the year (number 145). Come on, learn to be resourceful. It’ll be good for you! Plus, maybe you’ll meet campus event groupies and make new friends!
6. Go to Catharine Valley for a wine tour (number 40). Because of the cyclical nature of Greek Life events, Cornellians in Greek Life organizations or who have friends in sororities and fraternities have the opportunity to attend a proper wine tour twice a year. Now, my personal suggestion is to go in the fall, as it is usually much warmer and much prettier in terms of the Catharine Valley atmosphere. Though, if you’re not a part of an organization that partakes in wine tours, you just may have to befriend a frat man … proceed with caution and at your own risk.

Not Worth the Hype

1. Alright, I’ll be that person. Please do NOT have sex in the stacks (number 1). If you really need further reasoning, I’ll give it to you. Who knows what is creeping and crawling on those floors late at night, and do you really want to find out in a compromising position? I didn’t think so. Also, just don’t. Please.
2. To be honest, I don’t know what a Hotelie prom is. Should I if I’m commenting on its validity as number 29 on this list? Probably. But I don't want to. And neither should you. I’m imagining a long evening networking with the other attendees (and maybe even your own date) in stuffy formal attire.
3. For your own dignity, please do not make the walk of shame home and run into an ex (number 49). Stay classy and demure, and don’t let your ex know what you’re up to. Unless you’re empowered by the thought of the situation. Then you should walk right past your ex’s dorm on your way home.
4. You can generally ignore the “No Winter Maintenance” signs on the stairs across campus, but it would really suck to take a tumble down the stairs (number 60). I find that all of the stairs on this campus are made of hard, sharp stone, and if you break a bone, that will actually suck. You need your hands and arms to help you struggle on prelims and your legs to assist you in achieving extreme exhaustion from walking up the slope.
5. Though this one might be inevitable, having a treacherous OurBus experience isn’t something I would even wish on my worst enemy (number 112). It is actually the worst feeling in the world, scrambling to make alternative arrangements to make it home in time for Thanksgiving break when your OurBus cancels on you. Last year, they overbooked my bus and kicked the last girl off because there were no seats. And I was the third-to-last one on said bus, so you can imagine my sheer shock when I processed that it very well could have been me. Zero out of 10, would not try again.

I’ll Stand Up and Applaud

1. Number 33, enjoying an Ithaca summer as someone who chooses to stay on campus over summer recess, is impressive. See, experiencing summer here sounds so great in theory, but being on this campus one moment longer after finals season would be my definition of my worst nightmare. If you’re mentally strong enough, good for you. And you’ll get to hold it over everyone’s head that you did some cool research or work opportunity here.
2. If you ever get to meet Bill Nye ’77, “The Science Guy,” and give him a hug (number 134), you’ve been blessed by a higher power. You’d stand in the presence of true greatness, and I’m not sure any other life moment could top that.
3. Explore the secret underground tunnels between Olin and Uris if you ever get the chance (number 64), though I have heard it’s near impossible to accomplish. There is also a tunnel going from Olin to the edge of Goldwin Smith, per one of Olin’s Rare and Manuscript Collection’s experts (though don’t tell her I told you).

If you take anything away from this list, it should be that Cornellians do freaky things sometimes. And since you’re a Cornellian, you may also do freaky things sometimes. It’s simple math that even ILRies can understand. Embrace the freak. Take a good look at the rest of the list and decide for yourself what’s worth doing and what’s not. Just know you’re walking in the footsteps of generations of Cornellians who may or may not have done the nasty in the very seat you're sitting in right now.

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