I think the general vibe of these songs is music to have an existential crisis to — something like questioning what the point of it all is when walking down Ho Plaza post-midnight. Perhaps it’s closer to the melancholia of the specific, non-snowy cold right now and the feeling that the year has passed by without me. Or maybe it’s just a basic sad playlist (it is) of what I’m listening to at the moment to make you feel worse.
1. Radiohead: “Black Star”
A classic, and a song I discovered on a “songs to smoke to” playlist. I love the transition between the soft treble of the chorus into the despondent “blame it on a black star” over the guitar and drums.
2. Lucy Dacus: “Nonbeliever”
A song I discovered during college applications that makes me question if I’ve ever progressed as a person since then whenever I play it. But, I could listen to Lucy Dacus sing “everybody else looks like they’ve figured it out” in the outro forever.
3. The Last Dinner Party: “Inferno”
The recurring musical motif during the chorus alongside Abigail Morris’ delivery of “I keep trying, lord, I’m trying,” make this song the musical rendition of the feeling that life is chugging on without me.
4. Florence + The Machine: “St. Jude”
This song feels like a deep inhale. The synths are such a relief for me, especially in the chorus.
5. Phoebe Bridgers: “Chinese Satellite”
“I want to believe / Instead I look at the sky and I feel nothing” is perhaps a bit heavy-handed, but this song delivers on both lyrical crisis and stellar production. Great song to dissociate to.
6. Mitski: “Everyone”
This song makes me think about Mitski’s contractual obligation to make Laurel Hell and its themes of being unable to escape cycles of work and commodifying oneself. The slow, constant percussion and Mitski’s laments really drive this song for me, alongside the fade-out that provides no relief after she sings, “Sometimes, I think I am free / Until I find I'm back in line again.”
7. Daughter: “Doing the Right Thing”
I really felt the “I’m just fearing one day soon, I’ll lose my mind.” The faux-confidence she sings with when reassuring herself that she is doing the right thing is all too real.
8. Sufjan Stevens: “Should Have Known Better”
Stevens’ lyrics are devastating as usual. But the glimmery acoustic production is also stunning in its own right, making me feel hopeful yet hopeless all the same.
9. The Last Dinner Party: “Nothing Matters - Acoustic / Live from Studio Brussel”
The harmonies here are more pronounced than the studio version and are especially haunting during the bridge. There is some kind of hopeless resolve to the “Even when the cold comes crashing through / I’m putting all my bets on you” that I swear reverberates against my bones.
10. Sloppy Jane ft. Phoebe Bridgers: “Claw Machine”
From I Saw the TV Glow, this song is absolutely devastating. It is stunning musically (the harmonies!) and has lyrics that gut me, like, “My heart is like a claw machine / Its only function is to reach / It can’t hold on to anything.” I want this song to crawl under my skin and live inside me.
11. Ethel Cain: “Amber Waves”
I think this epitomizes the feeling of existential dread best: the slow drag of the song, Ethel Cain’s ghostly vocals, this final stretch of the endless horrible-yet-comforting atmosphere of the Perverts album and ending with “I can’t feel anything.”
You can find the playlist here.
‘Solar Flare’ is a weekly playlist column where Sun contributors spotlight a slice of musical taste with the campus community. It runs every Monday.
Pen Fang is a sophomore in the College of Arts and Sciences. They can be reached at pfang@cornellsun.com.
