On the top half of your screen, two middle-aged men, each with a mic in hand, solemnly deliberate over why Earth doesn’t rotate due to the pyramids of Giza. At the bottom of your screen, an obnoxiously over-saturated gameplay of Subway Surfers is displayed to capture your already rotting attention span, just so you don’t scroll away from the train wreck of a conversation in front of you. A few years ago, I would have thought this was a psychological experiment. Now, it might be the second reel I see when I open Instagram. The staggering amount of podcasts being started by everyone from washed-up celebrities to your dentist begs the question: Just because you can start a podcast, should you start one?
Normally, I really do enjoy podcasts, as they are accessible and can be incredibly entertaining when hosted by the right people. The Company Lot by Noel Miller, for instance, is such an oddly hilarious blend of pop culture and the bleakness of technology because its host is skilled enough at articulating his thoughts in a comedically engaging manner. On the other hand, a singular, vaguely interesting thought you may have had at 3 a.m. does not necessarily entitle you to a mic.
Unfortunately, with how tragically easy it is to hop on Amazon and root out a recording device, Spotify now reports almost 7 million podcasts on its platform, which, I think, is a few million opinions too many. Now we all have feeds polluted with incessant clips regarding someone's obviously made-up seventh failed situationship of the month or why all women are evil.
Some may argue that having a wide range of podcasts to choose from actually enriches media, because surely at least one person would resonate with the garbage being spewed. I would implore them to watch a clip of a supposed self-help guru recommending ChatGPT as a reliable tool for therapy on his podcast to prove them wrong. Someone could have been sent to a psych ward when ChatGPT wholeheartedly supported their imaginary relationship with a watering can, all because one person figured out how to use a mic.
Moreover, you don't have to be as dangerously incompetent as this man not to deserve a podcast. You could be a splendid paediatrician but a worse-than-average podcaster, and it is perfectly wonderful and normal to put down that mic and just be a paediatrician. The immense imaginary pressure people feel to start a podcast when they gain even a semblance of success should be quelled before I have to stumble across another painfully dry exchange on someone's mild disdain for radishes, all because they ran out of topics to ramble about aimlessly.
Worse than the lifeless, dull podcasts are the ones that have the sole purpose of inducing so much rage that you are coerced into hate-watching them. These range from bafflingly idiotic takes (drinking water is a scam!) to just blatant misogyny. The latter are especially infuriating with their harmful, downright bizarre takes on female autonomy, all so that they can garner as much attention, and therefore profit, as possible. Something inside me died when I had to watch a group that looked barely sentient argue about how women don't cook enough and then awkwardly segue into their adoration for TikTok recipes.
With regard to the more well-meaning podcasters, the notion of profiting off a conversation they’ve had with a friend by putting it online for millions may initially seem clever. However, I would suggest that inserting yourself into an oversaturated space with a philosophical titbit that someone might have had when they were 11, that has already been analysed and dissected into pieces a million times over by everyone else, is a waste of megabytes on your computer.
This rant does not intend to dissuade anyone with original, and importantly, interesting thoughts that are suitable for a wider audience from starting a podcast. However, just because the elderly neighbour, whom you were trying to make awkward small talk with, giggled at your unremarkable monologue about the evils of the Starbucks bear cup, does not mean the rest of us will laugh along.
Sanjita Paspulati is a freshman in the College of Architecture, Art and Planning. She can be reached at sp2579@cornell.edu.
Hater Friday runs on Fridays and centers around critiquing media or culture.
