Overheard Dec. 4: 'That was after the teen pregnancy phase, right?'
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Dude eating a sugar cookie: I don’t think I’d wanna have sex with anything that has claws!
— North Campus
(Two girls, walking in from the snow)
Disgusted female athlete: Oh my god, I’m, like, totally, like, dripping wet!
Sympathetic friend: Yeah, I know, like, snow is, like, only half water!
— Bartels
Helpful Cornellian: Well, just go outside, strangle a small squirrel and get back in there.
Stressed-out Cornellian: That’s the best advice I’ve ever heard!
— Arts Quad
Fratstar on thursday night: So then I opened the door. And suddenly I realized … I wasn’t at a bachelor party, I was at a sweet 16!
— Asian Noodle House
Obstinate girl: I think babies are cute, but that doesn’t mean I want to fuck them!
— Thurston Ave.