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I Know Hockey Players (Dos)

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My dear Cornellians, word has come to me in Australia that several hundred of you staged a semi-violent takeover of Day Hall (Willard Straight is so overdone) to demand another of my splendidly satirical and additionally alliterative articles. As an artist in extremely high demand (my written art has recently been featured on fridges and countertops spanning three states) I decided to clear my busy schedule to bow to your demands. Slash I kind of have to beg the Sun people to let me be in here and this is the first opening since my last column. Interesting sidenote, did you know that in the Sun you’re only supposed to put one space after a period?

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G'Day Cornell

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To everyone who knows me: Hey! Yes, it’s your favorite student/bartender/general Cornell staple, Renee Belisle, writing abroad from Australia and missing you all a ton. To everyone who doesn’t know me, you should have gotten to know me before I left, I’m a lot of fun and probably won’t want to make any new friends when I come back because my “friend quota’s” slots will all be filled with Australians and the occasional German by then. You can try, though. Thanks to my editor slash former roommate Rebecca B. Weiss for giving me this column: that was not act of favoritism whatsoever.