The Cornell Daily Sun (https://cornellsun.com/category/opinion/sex-on-thursday/page/3/)
Looking back on them now, the events of the night and the order in which they occurred are blurry to say the least — many parts stored in my memory now only as blank segments of emotional turmoil with physical pain periodically piercing through. But here’s some of what I do remember.
As far as middle school sex education programs go, mine was weak to subpar at best. Sure, I got lovely anatomy coloring sheets to bring home and share with mom and dad, but my midwestern abstinence education never served me too well. Good thing I had YouTube. On a separate note, I’ve talked to a disturbing amount of men and women at this school who have casual sex, but never use condoms. It’s understandable when you’re seeing someone regularly and exclusively, but no condom with a random guy? Surely, sex education taught you better.
The talking finally slows down and we look at each other. But not for too long at a time because the bridge built between our eyes struggles to withstand the weight of our silence. Just as I begin to contemplate reviving our conversation about running, or reading, or whatever topic we chose to distract ourselves from the real reason we were spending time together, he puts his arm around me. At first we just lie against each other breathing and listening to each other’s heart rates skyrocket in anticipation of what approaches. Then I turn to him and our lips finally make the long awaited connection.
This summer I was blocked by a former romantic partner. Now, I wish I could emerge from my veil of (sexy) anonymity to gaze upon your face as you read that sentence, beloved audience member, because your reaction to my excommunication reveals loads about your romantic life. For some, this blockage serves as the ultimate blemish on my character and establishes me as a problematic partner whose involvement with someone can only end in dramatic falling-outs. For those unflinching others who had trouble even identifying what noteworthy statement I claimed to have made — I admire your confidence in your own righteousness, but perhaps this piece can prompt you to reflect on how you might better communicate with your romantic partners.
I think emotional people get a bad rap. When it comes to a purely physical relationship, emotional people must be cautious about how much they allow themselves to know their hookup. For example, I think my current hookup is the coolest guy ever. Whenever I learn something new about him, I end up liking him more.
If there’s one thing my time at Cornell has taught me it’s that academic stress gets people horny. Not just your normal amount of college horny either; literally the #1 thing to accomplish on “161 Things Every Cornellian Should Do” is “Make the library into your bedroom and have sex in the stacks.” There is an entire community of people trying to get anonymously laid through Sidechat … all the more power to us, but these things are not standard university practice. In order to unpack Cornell’s Big Red sex drive, I’ve curated a carefully thought out list of which college theoretically pulls the most bodies. Have no fear, I am not an informational dictator; in order to best set the stage for this informed ranking, I have consulted the Sidechat community via poll in order to ensure that everyone’s voice (or at least the voices of 164 anonymous Cornell students) is heard. The results were as follows:
Survey: Which college gets the most action?
I, like any proper nerd, love to read. Though Pride and Prejudice will forever be my favorite work of literature, I have a soft spot for the modern, BookTok acclaimed, new adult romance novel. I’ve read Alli Hazelwood’s The Love Hypothesis three times over and Emily Henry’s People We Meet on Vacation and Beach Read back-to-back in less than 48 hours. Big accomplishments, I’m aware.
I kissed a girl. And yes, I liked it. But I am not ready to become the covergirl of whatever company still needs a one-month-contracted gay spokesperson to top their float at pride. See, I am American and have grown up on a healthy diet of watching old, rich men walk down red carpets with young and beautiful women. Of watching deodorant ads where the company expresses the quality of the scent they sell with women becoming sex-crazed in its prescence.
ask you to close your eyes and reminisce on a purer time, when the world was yours so long as you grasped it from the backseat of your mom’s Honda CRV (or her Audi R8, I don’t really care what your mom’s prerogative was). Focus on the universal memory, exclusive to summertime, of peeling your legs from a hot car seat. Ouch.
Working in a women’s assisted living and dementia care facility has meant effectively working in a sorority house full of 80-year-old cougars who’ve forgotten their ages — and most of their manners.