The Cornell Daily Sun (https://cornellsun.com/prominence/category-featured/page/3/)
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After two undeniably successful campus visits in the past two years, Ann Coulter ’84 will return to Ithaca for a third (and hopefully final) hurrah as the Class of 2024 Convocation Speaker.
We couldn’t be more excited for this new partnership, and we believe that together, we’ll be able to reach new heights in hard-hitting, high-quality pro-administration propaganda.
For a small price of just $5,000, Cornell students will be granted special permission to do something they’ve never been able to before: exercise their first amendment rights.
Cornell has solved its housing crisis. Instead of serving “gay little monkey lattes,” Green Dragon will now serve up first-year housing. With 69 beds in the cafe, inhabitants themselves may have to climb to their bunks along the ceiling, similar to gay little monkeys. Still, some students in the College of Architecture, Art and Planning say that the move violates their queer safe space. “I am gay, and I am scared, terrified and afraid,” Lana Gary Beatrice Tanner Quinn ’28 said.
Stretching from Willard Straight to Day Hall, the Cornell Soup Can Network will solve all of the administration’s transparency issues.
Nine players scored for Cornell, including six with multi-goal games.
Cornell researchers released a report detailing a snapshot of the region’s clouds during the once-in-a-lifetime eclipse on April 8.
Freaky little animals at the zoo have been kidnapping virgins and conducting sacrifices. What do they want? I don’t know, ask them yourself.
With several athletes hitting their stride at the right time of the season, the Cornell track and field teams are poised for continued success as they progress through their spring schedule.
Vice President Rocco DeLorenzo ’24 resigned from his position and seat on the Student Assembly amid allegations of hostility towards women. Vice President Clyde Lederman ’26 remains in office after the Office of Ethics recommended the Assembly consider recalling him as well.