BERRY PATCH | Cornell Takes on Hollywood

Given the dramatic events across campus over the course of this week, rumor has it that Hollywood executives have been seen mucking it up in Libe Cafe this week, asking about potentially turning the week’s happenings into the next Oscar-bait movie for Leonardo DiCaprio to star in if he doesn’t win an Oscar for his performance in The Revenant. According to some sources who may or may not have overheard the conversations between the studio suits and students heavily involved in the week’s happenings, these are the potential movie angle and titles being thrown around by those involved in the film franchise’s development. Rumor has it that they’re also trying to build off some of the post-Star Wars hype as well. The Hollywood machine at its finest. Attack of the Trustees: Starring former Disney Channel heartthrobs, this film will chronicle how a tonedeaf board of trustees came to the decision to form a College of Business on Cornell’s campus and not divest in fossil fuel industries while trapped in underground bunkers without a way to hear feedback from the people whom the decision will actually affect in the real world.