We call education an “investment,” which typically refers to money spent with the eventual expectation of a return. My rough calculation of the number of students and the average cost of tuition indicates that over $400 billion is “invested” in college every year. For scale, with that money you could own JPMorgan Chase, Facebook or Johnson & Johnson and still have the equivalent of Alaska’s GDP to spare. This week, dozens of parents and administrators were arrested on fraud charges in relation to a sprawling scheme for admission to some of the nation’s top colleges. These parents “invested” six- and seven-figures to cheat on standardized tests and manipulate the athletic admissions process to ensure their children’s acceptance.
An elite education is said to be priceless — at least, that could be the motivation behind the actions of Gordon Caplan ’88, who allegedly wired $75,000 to procure a fabricated, inflated ACT score for his daughter.
Whether this is an aggressive reminder for upperclassmen, or painfully true advice for freshmen, learning how to really cheat at Cornell is essential. You don’t need to type all of the answers in your fancy calculator the night before the test to cheat at Cornell, and you definitely don’t need to become friends with a little blue or orange pill. You don’t need to write formulas on your fingernail or notes on the inside of your water bottle. To really get ahead of your friends here, it is all about knowing the right resources, knowing the right people and knowing the right study spots. First thing is first, know no one cares if you were top of your class, valedictorian, student body president or captain of Mathematics Olympiad.
Is it my sultry stares? My pushed-up-too-much breasts? But isn’t that typical of most flirtation methods nowadays? I really am unsure about why people (in this case, guys) are so willing to cheat on their girlfriends. More specifically, why has it happened so many times with me?