BEARD | An Ode to the Fraternity Party Doorman

Up and down the streets of Collegetown, house after house played host to various scenes of debauchery. There was dancing, zero social distancing and carefree fun. In other words, it was everything COVID-19 took from all of us. Guarding these oases of unrestrained enjoyment were various iterations of the fraternity trio I encountered posing similar questions to would-be partygoers and ensuring that the sanctity of their fraternity’s “mixers” were maintained. 

Spinning Singles: Ariana Grande, “Dangerous Woman”

Okay.  A lot of me really likes Ariana Grande’s music.  Well, her newer music.  You were probably listening to it Saturday night in the basement of (insert frat name here); “Problem,” “One Last Time,” “Bang Bang,” “Break Free.”  Yeah, the songs are contrived and sustained purely by endless repetitions of 2 eight-counts of whichever instrument is being showcased and the high-flying cascades that Grande pulls off with her voice, but they’ll get you to sing along, or dance, or both.  If you take yourself seriously, maybe don’t watch any of the videos — either they’re filled with camp or I’m just not understanding the artistic message she’s sending out — but there’s no danger in enjoying a little bubblegum now and then between your really profound “Indie Discover Relax Golden” playlist you’ve homegrown on Spotify.