I learned from Dwight Schrute that “Cornell is an excellent school. Without its agricultural program, we probably wouldn’t have cabbage.” But I think Cornell should cease all research efforts to improve the modern cabbage and put its considerable manpower and resources into creating a teleportation device. I am not being flippant; on Saturday, Nov. 30, I realized, with a clear mind and full heart, that my Sunday flight into Syracuse would inevitably be delayed and my bus into Ithaca missed. This weekend was hard on everyone.