Taking inspiration from The Onion, CU Nooz’s brand of satire focuses on “observational stuff that everybody sort of knows but nobody really articulates,” according to Hannah Biener ’21, CU Nooz co-editor in chief.
Watching your confirmation process has caused me great distress. As the daughter of one father, it makes me sick to see a good, upstanding family man torn apart by baseless allegations. In hopes that it will help you navigate this crisis, I’ve formulated the following strategy for you and your team. First: deny, deny, deny. You’re doing a great job already, but you can’t let the pressure get to you.
I’m a member of the conservative right, and I pride myself on tradition. I’m old-fashioned, and I’m not afraid to say it. Faith, freedom and family all the way, baby! My core values are hard work and grit, and I think today’s society is too soft. People need to toughen up, stay on the straight and narrow, and then they can dig themselves out of any rut they find themselves in.
The 60th Annual Grammy Awards ceremony was held on Sunday evening and opened with an appearance by Kendrick Lamar. His performance consisted of a medley with songs like “DNA.” and “XXX.” from Damn. and “King’s Dead” from the Black Panther soundtrack. To accurately describe his performance in words would ultimately futile — though I will briefly attempt to do it anyway. I encourage you to check it out.
Welcome to Kappa Alpha Delta Theta Sigma Epsilon Phi! This is my home and I hope we have impressed you with our color-coordinated outfits and synchronized song. Can I take your coat? It will give me a chance to check the label as well as determine your worth by the proportions of your body and value of your clothes. So tell me about yourself!
“[The following is the introduction to a self-help book I’m in the process of writing. It’s called Tolerating Yourself, and it will help you cope with the abysmal reality of being the half-sentient mound of debt, angst and mediocrity that you are.]”
The humble Temple of Zeus has relocated to the shiny new Klarman Hall, and although the soups may never again run out, my patience for people might. Repurposing the small, chateauesque appendage in the rear of Goldwin Smith Hall to house the Temple of Zeus (and direct people into the atrium of Klarman Hall) is a smart idea with visible problems.
The architecture is interesting, the renders deceiving and the humans’ spatial understanding humiliating. As one enters the central and grandiose entrance, it delivers people to the middle of a line with an unknown destination. Inside this clusterfuck of columns, tables and sheep actively debase human development. It’s like you’ve traveled to a forgotten time, where one can see and experience the ancient art of oral tradition.
This week, I want to talk about the One Punch Man hype train, now that it’s had some time to slow down. But boy, what a ride it was. I’ll spare everyone my thoughts on how awesome the show was, because let’s face it, essentially everyone who calls themselves anime fans (and even a bunch of people who don’t) watched it and loved every second of it. What I will say, though, is that my personal favorite part of the show was the spot-on satire. Yeah, the rest was great, but that’s where I feel the show really shines.