Catherine Horng / Sun Contributor

November 20, 2017

The Variations of an Oreo Dunk

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It’s 2 a.m. and you feel a rumble. No, this is not the rumble of an earthquake, nor is it the rumble of yet another mental breakdown concerning your three prelims next week. It’s the rumble of your stomach, calling for some much-needed nourishment. For many sweet-toothed Cornellians, the go-to black and white cookie to satisfy those late night study session cravings is the classic Oreo, and while there are numerous types of Oreos ranging from peppermint to lemon, there is a lack of diversity in its complement: the dunk. So, without further ado, here are some variations of the dunk.

The “Classic”

The “Classic” is the perfect amount of crunchy and soggy; the cookie goes into plain 2 percent milk, is held for three seconds and is promptly enjoyed. To me, this is the epitome of the perfect dunk. It takes the edge off of the too-crunchy plain Oreo without compromising any of its structural integrity, all while providing an extra-creamy bite.

The “Existential Crisis”

This dunk occurs when the average student begins the dunk only to space out, contemplating whether a college degree is worth the all-nighters, which culminates into one of those midnight crises. It consists of holding the cookie in milk overtime, letting the milk seep into the cookie, creating a soggy, almost unrecognizable snack upon its removal. This may be my least favorite dunk; the structural integrity of the cookie is compromised by the oversaturation of milk, providing a less-than-pleasant experience of mush. Paired with the calamity of an internal questioning of the meaning of life, the “Existential Crisis” is a truly unpleasant experience.

The “Quickie”

This is almost equivalent to eating an Oreo without a single dunk. It’s crunchy, and…well, that’s it. It’s crunchy. Frankly, if you are going to go through the effort of pouring out a cold glass of milk with the intentions of dunking, you might as well do it right. The “Quickie” is in no way, shape, or form considered a dunk.

These three are the most common dunks in the world of Oreo lovers, and everyone has likely heard or experienced at least one of these, but for a cookie so universal as the Oreo, it is the time the public is exposed to some of the more unusual dunks out there. As a warning, some of these may be offensive to the Oreo purists, but to those of you willing and able to try something new, I encourage you to take the leap and experience some of these more experimental dunks.

The “Chocolatier”

Chocolate fanatics: Look no more for the perfect Oreo dunk. Rather than dunking in plain white milk, this dunk is done in chocolate milk, providing maximum chocolatey goodness as the cookie soaks up the chocolate flavor from the milk, which infuses with the chocolate cookie itself. Extra points are given if you use chocolate creme Oreos to gain maximum chocolate flavor.

The “Coffee Junkie”

This dunk is utilized by those who are up and 2 a.m. and want (or need) to stay up, as after one bite of dunking into coffee, you may not be able to stop. The addicting combination of the sweet cookie and slightly bitter coffee will become a fan favorite for those who want that extra kick of flavor while also getting a kick of caffeine.

The “Water Log”

If you are too broke to buy milk, then you may have been forced to endure the “Water Log.” Dunking an Oreo in just water is simply a last-ditch effort for when you want to take the edge off that initial crunch despite the lack of proper tools to conduct a “Classic.” Unfortunately, this kind of dunk usually culminates in the dunker feeling immediate remorse after that first bite. While the water softens up the cookie, it also dilutes the flavor without adding improvement.

These are only the tip of the iceberg of Oreo dunks that will be consumed in the life of a college student. Other variations include the “Pumpkin Spice,” the “Orange” and the “Hot Chocolate,” but I will leave these variations as an exercise for you to try and review on your own.