Will you ever find “the one?” Probably not, so stop being a sucker and start enjoying the pleasant world of polygamy. Now you can have all of your sexual and romantic desires fulfilled whenever is most convenient to you, “albeit in a three-unit form,” Brat Baby.
Opinion
SEX ON THURSDAY | XOXO, Your Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
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He chuckled at his phone with the sort of strained enthusiasm meant to spur a person’s curiosity. Curiosity spurred, I crawled to the foot of the bed and peered over his broad, tattooed shoulder. I wasn’t exactly eager to stow aside my feminist propensity of ignoring men when they, in typical fashion, summon attention to themselves whilst performing some act wholly unworthy of the attention they summon. But his shoulders were broad, and tattooed. And we had just had some cool sex, so all in all I was feeling benevolent.
breakups
SEX ON THURSDAY | Finally Letting Go
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Helpless Lover Girl writes about breaking up with a man she never dated.
Opinion
SEX ON THURSDAY | I Want to Be Inside You
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In a few days, you will be laying on your back, fascinated by a crack in the ceiling, wondering why you need to do this. You are exasperated by the very nature of sex, a nature that doesn’t allow us to fully live inside each other.
Sex on Thursday
SEX ON THURSDAY | On (Not) Moving On
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In May, the person I’ve most loved (so far) broke up with me.
Sex on Thursday
SEX ON THURSDAY | Fantasizing About All the Wrong Things
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The more you fantasize about the weird and potentially uncomfortable things too, the less awkward it will feel when it actually happens in those heated moments of passion.
Sex on Thursday
SEX ON THURSDAY | It’s Hard to Stay Hard
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Getting hard can sometimes be a struggle — that’s normal.
Columns
SEX ON THURSDAY | Lackluster Libido
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Ever since the start of the pandemic, I feel like I have no libido. I have very little interest in sex. My partner is starting to take my lack of sex drive personally, but I don’t know how to tell them that it’s not their fault! Is there something wrong with me?
-LackLuster
Hi LackLuster,
If there’s a “No Sex Drive During a Pandemic Club,” then you and I are both members. And so are millions of people across the world.
Columns
SEX ON THURSDAY | Masquerade of the Red Death
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I couldn’t tell what caused it initially, but everyone was sexier when I came back to campus after an endless summer of quarantine. Certainly some of this was attributed to my pent-up isolation lust, but there was an added x-factor that really churned my butter. Never before have I thought such a vast number of people were attractive as I twiddled my thumbs, six-feet-apart, in the arrival test line. That is, until I recollected my childhood crushes: Zorro, the Phantom of the Opera, Mrs. Incredible, and Hannibal Lecter. All of them wore masks.
Sex on Thursday
SEX ON THURSDAY | That Time I Hooked Up With My Uber Driver…
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I’m glad we did our one-time fuck, but it doesn’t have to be any more than that.