Sex on Thursday

SEX ON THURSDAY | Guarding the Female Seal of Approval

I’m about one straight white man away from giving up on the male species all together. Now don’t get me wrong, I loveeeeee men, but I’m not sure how much more of this bullshit I can take. In general, the average dude just simply cannot find my clit. The biggest sex trend these days is the two pump chump — the fuck, chuck and fall asleep.  I’m fed up with texts like, “I’m sorry I’ve been distant, I got this lamp and the directions were in Chinese so it took 7 hours to put together.” If one more man tries to explain Bitcoin to me, I’m gonna lose my shit.

Sex on Thursday

SEX ON THURSDAY | Consent is My Biggest Turn-On

I had my mind set to write about non-invasive sex toys, but considering current events, it’s critical we discuss sexual consent. Even though it seems like consent is all we talk about some days, it is clearly not in our heads. We talk about sex in terms of baseball, and never has anyone mentioned consent in that analogy. When I had health class in school, we talked about STDs and protection, but never about asking permission. Consent is something I think about a lot.

Sex on Thursday

SEX ON THURSDAY | Your IUD Fairy Godmother

As a sexually active woman, it my utmost priority to practice safe sex. There are a plethora of options out there to keep yourself baby-free. Personally, I have an Intrauterine Device, more commonly known as an IUD, and not to be confused with an IED (an improvised explosive device). Many women are so fearful of IUD “horror stories” that they may as well be walking in a minefield. My one mission in life is to debunk these IUD fears.

Sex on Thursday

SEX ON THURSDAY | Relationship Status: Vibin’

 

A slight buzz lingered in my room as the morning sunshine poured into my window and a lustful moan escaped from my lips. My tan leg muscles clenched and uneven movements broke the peace under my white sheets. Seconds later, bright colors burst in my veins and shivers sparked electrically from my core to the tips of my fingers. What better way to start a Sunday morning? Much to my comfort, there was no one on the other side of the bed that Sunday.

Sex on Thursday

SEX ON THURSDAY | Strip Club Virgin? I Was Too.

Crystal tucked a wad of bills into my tiny black-lace bra. Coquettishly, she straddled my lap and pressing her body against mine, she took the money from my cleavage with her red-lipped mouth. As her teeth grazed my tits, goosebumps rose on my arms.  With a sexy wink, she snapped the money into the gold string of her thong. On each side of me, one of my male-friends sat fully erect, their brows glistening and mouths gawking. The lustful daze of their eyes suggested to me that I had just landed a future role in their dirtiest masturbation fantasies.

Sex on Thursday

SEX ON THURSDAY | Let’s Talk About Not-Sex

Life is different when you can’t have sex. Not for religious reasons. Not even for pro-abstinence reasons. Just for a I-was-born-with-a-pain-condition-and-can’t-have-sex reason. I thought my life was effectively over.

Sex on Thursday

SEX ON THURSDAY | Playing Ball

When I was a high school student, an inexperienced one at that, one sexual analogy confused me more than all the rest: the use of bases on a baseball field to describe sexual acts. The first issue led from my lack of sports’ knowledge, mostly that I could never remember if homebase came before or after first or if there was such a thing as fourth base. After one too many times looking up the order of the plates (including as I wrote this article), I can now almost completely guarantee it goes first, second, third and then home. But the true focus of this article is my second issue with this analogy: the lack of consensus on which acts constitute which bases. I’ve heard all variations of what the order of acts is.

Sex on Thursday

SEX ON THURSDAY | The Big O

It’s that time of the year again. Our worn-down Ithaca streets revived by the intoxicated, Adidas-stumbling steps of dozens of girls in denim skirts and black crop-tops and frat stars in generic basketball jerseys. Welcome to O-Week! With its sweaty glamour, these six days mark the beginning of yet another semester you promise yourself you’re actually going to do the reading and won’t end up at another frat house with a Keystone blowout next to the boy that ghosted you last semester. Well, good for you!

Sex on Thursday

SEX ON THURSDAY | Daddy Issues

Daddy. Long gone are the days when I can call home on a Sunday evening and say, “Hi Daddy!” to my father without feeling like I yakked and must swallow it again. The word “daddy’” has become a word that I moan into the ear of some twenty-something boy as he utterly rails me. I use the word ~daddy~ sexually, but ironically. I’ll shoot off a flirty text message at 2 a.m., “Hey daddy, you up?” Or when a spicey man brushes by me on the street, I’ll think to myself, “Hello DA-DDY!” The word daddy often makes my sexual partners squirm, but in 100 percent of the cases, deep down, I think men get off to it.