SEX ON THURSDAY | Lackluster Libido

Ever since the start of the pandemic, I feel like I have no libido. I have very little interest in sex. My partner is starting to take my lack of sex drive personally, but I don’t know how to tell them that it’s not their fault! Is there something wrong with me? 

-LackLuster

Hi LackLuster,

If there’s a “No Sex Drive During a Pandemic Club,” then you and I are both members. And so are millions of people across the world.

SEX ON THURSDAY | Masquerade of the Red Death

I couldn’t tell what caused it initially, but everyone was sexier when I came back to campus after an endless summer of quarantine. Certainly some of this was attributed to my pent-up isolation lust, but there was an added x-factor that really churned my butter. Never before have I thought such a vast number of people were attractive as I twiddled my thumbs, six-feet-apart, in the arrival test line. That is, until I recollected my childhood crushes: Zorro, the Phantom of the Opera, Mrs. Incredible, and Hannibal Lecter. All of them wore masks.

SEX ON THURSDAY | Cliterotica for a Lonely Quarantine

Whether you’re quarantining with a new partner, just went through an awful breakup — but are still stuck living together —  or are stuck in the isolation blues, it’s likely that whatever your sex life was pre-pandemic, it’s pretty different now. Maybe, like me, your months in quarantine have been replete with fluctuation – beginning with a time of passionate, consuming sex with a beloved, followed by periods of agonizing sexual and emotional separation, and then frosty post-breakup months spent wondering if you’d forgotten how to masturbate. Maybe, if you really are like me, your body is just waking up as if from a long sleep, the pain subsiding enough that you can finally ask: How can I get off without risking giving COVID to my housemates?! 

After hours of scrolling through tinder with zero intention of meeting anyone and of scouring the internet for porn I actually enjoy, I found myself turning to a long familiar form of pleasure: language. So whether you’re looking to spice up your quarantine sex life or you’re just trying to keep your twin bed a little warmer as we head into autumn, look no further than these cliterary classics:

 
from “When the Beloved Asks, ‘What Would You Do If You Woke Up and I Was a Shark?’” by Natalie Diaz 
 

“Be-loved, is loved, what you cannot know is I am overboard for this 

metamorphosis, ready to be raptured to that mouth, reduced to a swell 

of wet clothes, as you roll back your eyes and drag me into the fathoms.”

Here is a poem for if love comes to you as an act of submission, of offering yourself completely to a dream or to a lover. Here is a poem for if you ache for acts or for imagery that you fear to speak aloud.