Trick-or-Treat: The Nightmare List

I’d like to consider myself a seasoned trick-or-treater, maybe even a master of the craft. For as long as I can remember, I would spend my childhood Halloween evenings bargaining and trading candy with my fellow sweet treat connoisseurs, attempting to optimize my selection. I’d say I’ve been through the trick-or-treating rounds enough to know what is good, and what is horribly bad. 

In my neighborhood, the best houses gave us big candy bars or goody bags, and the worst, nothing at all, or equally as abhorrent, sliced apples. But I’ve certainly been hearing some recent horror stories about childhood trick-or-treating and found it time to finally create the nightmare list of treats. Our ranking begins somewhat mildly, with fruit.

An “Objective” Judging of Chocolate Halloween Candies

Halloween season is fully upon us, which means it’s the time of year to stuff our faces with candy and feel no remorse. In our childhood days of trick-or-treating, we all had our favorite candies that we would trade anything for and others that we would gladly give away for free. But which candies are objectively the best? I’ll use the following four metrics to score many of our favorite chocolate based candies (sorry chocolate haters). This will be scored from one to five with five being the best.

Let Girls Enjoy Pumpkin Spice (But Not Me): A Self Reflection

While I don’t exactly wish that I wrote for The Sun at the peak of pumpkin spice hatred — 2012, for those lucky enough to have forgotten — I can recognize that I’m a little late to the party on this one. Gone are the days of viral posts making fun of teenage girls for liking Starbucks. In recent years, the sexist undertones of the “basic” stereotype have become obvious and have made these jokes distasteful, if not completely unacceptable. Now, there is generally less embarrassment associated with liking Starbucks and oat milk, and I’m grateful for this shift! But if I can acknowledge that being “like other girls” isn’t a bad thing, then why do I still feel so averse to pumpkin spice?

A Cautious Defense of Moonshine

If you’re like me at all, the question, “Is making your own moonshine really that bad?” has crossed your mind at least a few times. Can you blame me? The thought of unlimited, practically free alcohol was tempting, and I imagined that it would have the added bonus of being as strong as a horse tranquilizer. While contemplating if I really wanted to freak out my housemates by making them accomplices to an illegal moonshine distillery, I started to wonder why moonshine is even against the law in the first place. Like almost everything, the answer is … complicated. 

For legal reasons, I disappointedly must report that I don’t have the balls to distill moonshine in my collegetown house. 

Moonshine in the United States has a long history, especially in the South.

The Telephone Tyrant

I’m not stupid, but that didn’t stop the woman on the other end of the phone from calling me that. English is my first language, but that didn’t stop the woman on the other end of the phone from questioning my command of it. My name is Sarah, but that didn’t stop the woman on the other end of the phone from never using it. 

After spending months sending cold-emails and having “informational interviews”, I was so excited to find a job as a reservationist for a restaurant group. I had this romanticized view in my head of being a working girl in New York City, and everyone around me was too nice to pop my bubble constructed of naivety and ignorance. 

I spend eight hours a day answering phones. Some days, I book reservations for CEOs and influencers.

The Best Fish Sandwich

I’m passionate about seafood, and finding the best fish dishes is an ongoing quest of mine. As for finding the best fried fish sandwich, that’s already happened: Doug’s Fish Fry in Skaneateles, NY has fish that is unmatched in both taste and quality.

Dining Hall Dinners That Got Me Through CHEM 2080

Despite the general vibe around campus that food from the dining halls has been lackluster, Ally Mark ’24 has found many diamonds in the rough. Here are her top five favorite Cornell dining hall dinners and deserts, like the gouda mac and cheese which helped her dance through the rigors of CHEM 2080.

A Cayuga Creamery Ice Cream Flavor, According to Your Major

Cayuga Creamery, located inside the Dewitt Mall, has been my go-to stop for an ice cream fix every time I’ve been out and about in Ithaca. This quaint parlor resides right in the corner of the mall, inside a little nook overlooking Buffalo Street and Dewitt Park. 

Based in Interlaken, NY, their Ithaca location opened up in late 2020. Their original location has been praised immensely for their ice cream quality, designated a must-try in multiple articles. They house over 200 flavors total, but rotate around 30 flavors at a time in the shop. 

Walking into this little ice cream boutique, you may find yourself stuck choosing between creatively named and delicious sounding flavors. I could sit and try their ice cream flavors for hours, and when you get the chance to go, I’m sure you will, too; hopefully this guide gives you some direction in your final choice. 

With that being said, here is the Cayuga Creamery flavor you should buy, according to your major: 

Animal Science: Try out the Purple Cow flavor!

Where Does Dining Hall Fish Come From?

Cornell was the first Ivy to be certified by the Marine Stewardship Council for serving sustainable seafood in 2012, and today campus dining halls continue to provide students with fresh fish and crustaceans on a regular basis.