Sex on Thursday


“You’re so fun at parties because you always have the best stories,” Austin joked. “Tell them what you told me.”

Austin and I had been friends since high school, and I was standing among a group of his friends at a party back home over Thanksgiving break. He was asking me to share the story of what happened during sex with my summer fling. I tend to be pretty open about sex, so I didn’t mind talking about my experiences, though this one elicited a bit of shame. “Well,” I started, blushing, “you have to understand he was a teenager and loved the fact that I was a few years older than him.  I’d never been with a younger guy.” Austin was already giggling.

Sex on Thursday

SEX ON THURSDAY | Jealousy: The Incurable Disease

“She came first, ‘cause I got it like that,” he whispered in my ear as we shuffled through the aisles in Jansen’s. I looked back at him with a faint smile. How does this work? Am I supposed to pretend to be interested in his little sex story? Because I don’t want to hear it.

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GUEST ROOM | Don’t Stand With Me! Stand In Your Lane and Do Right!

The global fury unleashed against police brutality and anti-Black racism in the United States is unabated. As Gil Scott-Heron once said, “America is once again in shock! America leads the world in shocks. Unfortunately, America does not lead the world in deciphering the causes of shocks.” The country has been forced, once again, to do some soul-searching intended, presumably, to decipher the cause of this shock. It is unlikely that this search is deep.

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SMITH | Please Don’t Act Like COVID-19 is Automatically Good for the Environment

As we search for good news amid the COVID-19 pandemic, one common theme has been the improved air quality and positive environmental impacts of quarantine. Emissions in China alone temporarily dropped by a quarter, and New York City carbon dioxide emissions also decreased as it became a hotspot for the virus. However, these drops are fleeting, as they are merely a result of the worldwide shutdowns, travel restrictions, etc. Levels of CO2 will rise as we return to life as it was before the virus. Stalling economic activity in no way set the proper stage for long-term environmental improvement.

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LORENZEN | CTB Will Reopen Sooner If You Wear a Mask

No, it won’t. That’s an absolutely preposterous statement. There is no causation between when Collegetown Bagels will reopen in its new Sheldon Court location and you wearing a mask. However, if you are among the growing, vocal minority of Americans steadfastly refusing to wear a mask despite the Center of Disease Control’s recommendation to do so in public spaces, then may I recommend you pretend that this false causation is true? If the tangible reward of Zabs motivates you to wear a mask when you go out in public, then I am here to tell you that CTB will reopen sooner if you wear a mask.

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PARK | So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

So this is how it ends. Not in the blistering heat on Schoellkopf field surrounded by all the people we love, but alone in our bedrooms amidst a global pandemic watching a nearly hour-late Swae Lee gyrate through our computer screens on funds we never asked to be spent, following some fighting kangaroos. Things could be better. This is not what I expected. Then again, so little of college turned out as expected.