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WANG | To Be Kyler Murray

For some reason, on Saturday afternoon, I sat myself down to watch the University of Oklahoma and Texas football teams lock horns to determine the winner of the Big 12 Championship.  And even though I don’t know half the words I just typed thanks to my neophyte nature when it comes to college sports, and my disdain for football that largely stems from the abusive damage it lays on its players, I stayed sitting and watched. Because once in a while, you just have to see something exceptional. Kyler Murray, who plays quarterback for the Oklahoma Sooners, is short for his position. He’s also one of the five most talented athletes in the world.

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BARAN | Flip to a Flip-Phone?

When my mom dropped me off at Cornell two weekends ago after a family funeral, I had to screenshot directions to get back home and send them to her. Her tiny phone made the pictures grainy and hard to read. Still, she persevered and managed to get back to Maryland safely. She probably squinted and looked down at the phone more often than was safe, but she did it. And she went through this whole ordeal with a smile, for the alternative was to her much worse than some occasional inconvenience.

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KIM | California Is Still Home

For 17 days, the surface of the Earth flipped inside out, unleashing the ghastly pits of Hell. A paradise of a state and the town of Paradise itself were demolished, engulfed in the rapacious, formidable flames. Seeing the photos and videos, I couldn’t believe my eyes when I first heard about the California wildfires. Entire houses were completely reduced to black wood chips. Cars were melted into the street like chocolate on a hot summer day.

Guest Room

GUEST ROOM | 50 Feet Away

As I walked down the driveway to my townhouse in Collegetown on a Saturday, I passed two men and two women, all Cornell students. They were all intoxicated, stumbling and laughing. The men attempted to get my attention, but I ignored them and continued walking. After my lack of response, one of them asked me, “Hey are you Asian? We always see Asian girls coming in and out of your house.

Guest Room

GUEST ROOM | Cornell’s Hypocritical Academia

Does anyone else find this university absurd in its constant juxtaposition of social education and capital endeavor?  That is to say that I have learned so much from my courses about critically analyzing social structures and their impact from a  psychological to sociological level. Yet at the same time, I see my university constantly, actively working to reproduce the very structures it has taught me to resent. Initially, I found this inimical relationship too much to hold in my own head, and instead I attempted to compartmentalize these knowledges so that my understanding of social phenomena would be irrelevant when I learned about socially oppressive systems or else to disconnect my own professional development from conversations about race, class gender or sexuality. Problem solved, no more dissonance.

Sex on Thursday

SEX ON THURSDAY | Masturbation for the Working Mathematician

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of good fortune must masturbate. Despite this, I had sex before I masturbated for the first time, and the masturbation took a great deal of effort. Masturbation is fucking hard, but fucking hard is not masturbation. To clarify, I learned calculus before I masturbated for the first time but I attempted and failed at masturbating before I attempted calculus. Thus, calculus is easier than masturbation but primarily because there are more guides for it.

Sex on Thursday

SEX ON THURSDAY | Just Some Thursday Foreplay

I recently realized that not having penetrative sex means I engage in a lot of foreplay. And since this usually goes on for an hour for me, I was shocked to learn that foreplay generally lasts for about 15 minutes. Foreplay is an art. It’s one of the most important things to do to ensure an enjoyable time. So if you want to impress someone you’ve been hooking up with for a while, or you just want to be more prepared for the next time around, here are some ways to make sure you bring your A-game:

Sext during the day

Having a memorable night depends a lot on the build-up.

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JOHNS | Stand United for Academic Freedom

In 1940, the American Association of University Professors released a declaration on higher education in the United States that has since served as the foundational definition and defense of academic freedom. The declaration, titled “Statement of Principles on Academic Freedom and Tenure,” correctly acknowledged the rights of faculty to pursue lines of intellectual inquiry without interference, groupthink or other pressures. Nearly eight decades later, universities in the U.S. and throughout the world must confront the unpleasant and yet undeniable fact that this vision is at risk, both on campuses and in foreign academic partnerships. This semester, Cornell University had an unprecedented opportunity to face these risks, at least as they apply to its foreign engagements. The Cornell Political Union, a nonpartisan student-run debating society which I am a member of, hosted two speakers on the increasingly totalitarian pressures being asserted by the Chinese Communist Party at American universities.

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TAARIQ | How To Turn Your Semester Around in 3 Weeks

The worst part about a break is it happening in the first place. Doesn’t it seem like hedonism to peruse a false sense of pleasure, stuffing our face with food and sleeping for countless hours, when reality dictates that at the end of the day, you still have mounds of obligations to return to in only five days? Some students were still swamped with assignments during this time. Maybe that was a bit dramatic, and I am thankful for my opportunity to return home to family and unwind, but when I land back on campus the Band-Aid rips off and I realize my time is up. What in the world have I been doing since August?

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KANKANHALLI | Unfinished Business

The first column that I authored for The Sun was a repurposed high school essay. I bet I can even dig up the prompt if I ventured into 2014 territory on my laptop — it asked for something along the lines of a satirical piece inspired by a celebrity. Anyway — I freaked out, okay?! 800 words, a whole novel’s worth, to introduce myself to a nameless, faceless, potentially imaginary body of peers and faculty and parents and alumni and…? Yeah.