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GROSKAUFMANIS | At Least You’re Having Fun

I’m not great at painting, but this semester I spent about six hours a week in Tjaden trying to paint anyways. On somewhat of a whim, I took a friend’s advice and signed up for an introductory art class. I was definitely the least experienced in the class. And still, the environment it created — where I had room to mess up and get better, where I was out of my element and felt no pressure to make anything perfect — brought me a kind of peace that I haven’t found in many other spaces here at Cornell. I painted everything from a portrait of a stranger to an exterior of the Cornell Sun building (that I ultimately had to call “abstract” because it was unforgivingly unrealistic.)

Every few weeks, we would have class-wide critiques where I’d nervously hang my attempts on the wall next to perfect, often photo-like pieces done by freshman Fine Arts students.

CHANG | Inciting Anger isn’t your Job, Political Journalists

Political journalists aren’t acting responsibly. I think it’s gotten worse since the beginning of President Trump’s term in 2016. The roughly partisan split of journalistic outlets, at least partially hewn by the election of a black president and thrown into sharp relief by backlash to said black president, isn’t backing down. As a result, this sentiment bears repeating: political journalists must adhere to standards that eschew the scoop-based big headline reporting in favor of responsible journalistic practice. On Oct.

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WANG | To Be Kyler Murray

For some reason, on Saturday afternoon, I sat myself down to watch the University of Oklahoma and Texas football teams lock horns to determine the winner of the Big 12 Championship.  And even though I don’t know half the words I just typed thanks to my neophyte nature when it comes to college sports, and my disdain for football that largely stems from the abusive damage it lays on its players, I stayed sitting and watched. Because once in a while, you just have to see something exceptional. Kyler Murray, who plays quarterback for the Oklahoma Sooners, is short for his position. He’s also one of the five most talented athletes in the world.

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BARAN | Flip to a Flip-Phone?

When my mom dropped me off at Cornell two weekends ago after a family funeral, I had to screenshot directions to get back home and send them to her. Her tiny phone made the pictures grainy and hard to read. Still, she persevered and managed to get back to Maryland safely. She probably squinted and looked down at the phone more often than was safe, but she did it. And she went through this whole ordeal with a smile, for the alternative was to her much worse than some occasional inconvenience.

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KIM | California Is Still Home

For 17 days, the surface of the Earth flipped inside out, unleashing the ghastly pits of Hell. A paradise of a state and the town of Paradise itself were demolished, engulfed in the rapacious, formidable flames. Seeing the photos and videos, I couldn’t believe my eyes when I first heard about the California wildfires. Entire houses were completely reduced to black wood chips. Cars were melted into the street like chocolate on a hot summer day.

Guest Room

GUEST ROOM | 50 Feet Away

As I walked down the driveway to my townhouse in Collegetown on a Saturday, I passed two men and two women, all Cornell students. They were all intoxicated, stumbling and laughing. The men attempted to get my attention, but I ignored them and continued walking. After my lack of response, one of them asked me, “Hey are you Asian? We always see Asian girls coming in and out of your house.

Guest Room

GUEST ROOM | Cornell’s Hypocritical Academia

Does anyone else find this university absurd in its constant juxtaposition of social education and capital endeavor?  That is to say that I have learned so much from my courses about critically analyzing social structures and their impact from a  psychological to sociological level. Yet at the same time, I see my university constantly, actively working to reproduce the very structures it has taught me to resent. Initially, I found this inimical relationship too much to hold in my own head, and instead I attempted to compartmentalize these knowledges so that my understanding of social phenomena would be irrelevant when I learned about socially oppressive systems or else to disconnect my own professional development from conversations about race, class gender or sexuality. Problem solved, no more dissonance.

Letter to the Editor

LETTER TO THE EDITOR: Cornell’s ties to Saudi Arabia need scrutiny

To the editor:

The following letter was sent to Cornell President Martha Pollack on November 27, 2018:

Dear President Pollack:

We, the undersigned members of the Cornell community, urge you to examine Cornell’s ties with the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. As the KSA’s human rights violations escalate, we cannot endorse any form of academic support and/or collaboration with the current regime. To do so is to support injustice and undermine the purpose and integrity of Cornell’s mission. We therefore urge you to discontinue Cornell’s institutional and financial collaboration with the KSA. We further ask that you disclose to the Cornell community all grants and gifts received from the KSA, in addition to programmatic collaboration such as academic exchanges.

Sex on Thursday

SEX ON THURSDAY | Masturbation for the Working Mathematician

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of good fortune must masturbate. Despite this, I had sex before I masturbated for the first time, and the masturbation took a great deal of effort. Masturbation is fucking hard, but fucking hard is not masturbation. To clarify, I learned calculus before I masturbated for the first time but I attempted and failed at masturbating before I attempted calculus. Thus, calculus is easier than masturbation but primarily because there are more guides for it.

Sex on Thursday

SEX ON THURSDAY | Just Some Thursday Foreplay

I recently realized that not having penetrative sex means I engage in a lot of foreplay. And since this usually goes on for an hour for me, I was shocked to learn that foreplay generally lasts for about 15 minutes. Foreplay is an art. It’s one of the most important things to do to ensure an enjoyable time. So if you want to impress someone you’ve been hooking up with for a while, or you just want to be more prepared for the next time around, here are some ways to make sure you bring your A-game:

Sext during the day

Having a memorable night depends a lot on the build-up.