4/20

Critique of a Hotelie’s Napkin Swan

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Many consider Cornell University to be the most prestigious college in the country for architectural design. It has seen cohorts of the world’s most qualified artists and engineers come and go. Lawrence Halprin ’39 won the National Medal of Arts in 2002. Richard Artschwager ’48 built altars for the Catholic Church and had his sculptures exhibited in the Whitney Museum. Hota Lee ’27 is next in a long line of Cornellian artists to endeavor to upheave the American sculptural tradition through the zoomorphic arrangement of fabric. 

The Statler Practicum is an opportunity for students in the Nolan School of Hotel Administration to experience the typical tasks of a hotel employee.

4/20

Matcha Marijuana Ice Cream: Freedom to be Stoned

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Cornelians have spoken: Sun exit polling predicts that Dank Green Goddess Raspberry Matcha will take the cake, and the Sun could not agree more. On April 20, students from Food Science 1101 shared their ice cream creations with an eager crowd of students, waiting to test flavors. The three flavors that have been developed this year are, Dank Green Goddess Raspberry Matcha, All-Star American VBC (Vanilla, Blueberry, Cherry) and Bananas for Brownies Buds ‘n Blunts. The winning ice cream flavor will be announced at Slope Day instead of Commencement, as done in previous years. Since Flo Rida recently notified the Student Assembly that a Boogie Wit Da Hoodie would be replaced at Slope Day with Snoop Dog, students are keen to make Cornell as welcoming as possible for the A-list celebrities.

4/20

Cornell Frats to Lower Maximum Rice Purity Scores Amid Rise in Sexual Activities 

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The Cornell Interfraternity Council has recently announced a dramatic change in their application process — in an effort to maintain their reputation of exclusivity, the IFC has voted unanimously to lower the maximum acceptable Rice Purity Test score to 30. Since 2008, it has become standard for fraternities and sororities to administer a “Rice Purity Test” for their new recruits. Comprising a list of 100 activities — from “held hands romantically” to “engaged in bestiality” — the Rice Purity Test was originally meant to be used for research purposes at Rice University. However, in more recent years, it has become the go-to measure for finding out if potential pledges are cool or not. 

According to a manufactured data set, the average acceptance score at Cornell fraternities was approximately 50/100 in previous years. But due to the rise of apps such as Tinder, Grindr and Gradescope, students claim it has never been easier to get fucked.