Cornell has solved its housing crisis. Instead of serving “gay little monkey lattes,” Green Dragon will now serve up first-year housing.
With 69 beds in the cafe, inhabitants themselves may have to climb to their bunks along the ceiling, similar to gay little monkeys. Still, some students in the College of Architecture, Art and Planning say that the move violates their queer safe space.
“I am gay, and I am scared, terrified and afraid,” Lana Gary Beatrice Tanner Quinn ’28 said. “As a coffee shop, Green Dragon was made up of 95 percent gay people. But if freshmen are randomly assigned there for housing, I fear it might be closer to the typical gay percentage at Cornell, which is 37 percent of girls and four percent of guys.”
With the addition of so many beds, there is no room for any closets in the room. President Martha Pollack “swears to god” she did not do this in attempts to “beat the homophobia allegations.” However, she thinks it is really special that students can’t stay in the closet or frankly use a closet — ever. According to Pollack, being out (regardless if you are proud) emulates the academic year of free speech in flying (rainbow) colors!
But with Green Dragon previously a cultural hub overflowing with “the only above-average fashion on campus,” Troye Sivan ’14 said that the lack of closets is, in fact, homophobic.
“They should have moved the engineering students into Duffield. God knows they will never shower, wear okay-looking clothes or socialize with anybody that is not on a project team,” Sivan said.
Bye Sexual is a Sun senior writer and can be reached at [email protected].