September 8, 2005

Campus Couture

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Every girl can have a closet full of the latest and greatest, but only the fashion savvy can recognize the fine line between trendy and trashy. Knowing what not to wear is just as vital as knowing what to wear, so we’ve decided to update you on the truly heinous fashion faux pas that are happening on campus.

Offense #1: Over-Distressed Jeans

If you’ve been rifling through racks of jeans lately, you have undoubtedly noticed the abundance of distressed denim this season. The worn look is definitely a hot trend. However there is a difference between being stylish and looking like you’ve had a run in with a paper shredder. Also, acid-washed jeans are a big no-no! Please, you look like you’ve just fallen out of a particularly painful episode of 90210.

Offense #2: Teasing Tees

“My Boyfriend’s Out of Town” and “You Know You’re Jealous” shirts need to be saved for the county fair, NOT Cornell campus. Just because your t-shirt claims you are hot stuff, it doesn’t mean you actually are. Stop screaming for attention. We know this sounds harsh, but we’re only trying to save you from the embarrassment of looking like a tool.

Offense #3: Newsboy Caps/Fedoras

Friends don’t let friends wear newsboy caps or fedoras anymore. Nothing is more vomit-worthy than seeing the many ghosts of fashion past traipsing around the Arts Quad in plain sight. We realize that some may think it looks edgy, but in the words of Jenna DiCostanzo, ’09, “If it’s been on Britney Spears – don’t wear it!” We are begging you to leave the Alicia Keys look at home and as an alternative, tie up your locks with a cute silk headband.

Offense #4: Overusing Denim

In a world where denim reins supreme, there are a few offenders who take their love of the fabric to the extreme. Never ever ever wear a jean jacket with jeans especially if they are two different shades of blue. We also would like to address the issue of denim purses. While we are lovers of Louis, the denim Louis Vuitton purse is insulting to the fashionistas of the world. For those who were unfortunate enough to have bought it, spare us the agony and don’t use it.

Offense #5: Knockoff Bags

Designer bags are all the rage as everyone knows, but if you bought yours in Chinatown you aren’t fooling anyone but yourself. Your Cucci, Goach and Eendi bags are crimes against the designers whose names you are bastardizing. If your Coach bag is sporting G’s as well as C’s, don’t even take it out the door. Also, the fake Vera Bradley’s are ridiculous. Honestly, who knocks off a $60 bag? We understand that you want Lindsay Lohan’s Balenciaga, but if you can’t cough up the cash for the hefty price tag, we highly recommend Woodbury Commons, our favorite place for discount designer gear.

Offense #6: Visible Undergarments

We know you are particularly proud of that new, hot pink Vicky’s bra you bought last weekend, but we beg you not to show it to the world. Save it for Friday night’s hook up. There’s nothing more horrendous than seeing someone walking through campus with a brightly colored bra showing underneath a thin white shirt. Underwear is worn under for a reason unless you’re standing on the street corner. Even more painful is seeing someone’s thong straps peaking out of the top of their jeans. If your low riders are that low, you might as well be naked.

Archived article by Maria Panagopulos and Joanna Dicostanzo
Sun Contributors