I often find myself whistling. A friend pointed out that it’s impossible to whistle if you’re unhappy. I thought about it, tried it, analyzed fellow whistlers, and behold, it’s true! Whistlers, have, without fail, a happy disposition. While conducting extensive research for this little experiment, I overheard quite a few clever song/situation matches:
Guy, walking up the stairs to the top of Olin Library : “Stairway to Heaven,” Led Zeppelin
Girl, in library, after third member of the group left: “A Quick One While He’s Away,” The Who
Guy, wearing a yellowish sweat suit : “Mellow Yellow,” Donovan
Girl, in lipstick aisle: “Any Colour You Like,” Pink Floyd (it takes skill to whistle this song!)
Slackjaw: Why’s it so quiet in here!?
-Uris Library, Cocktail Lounge
White High School Girl: Hey, what are you going to be for Halloween?
Black High School Boy: I’m thinking either Tiger Woods, Rick James, or a white person.
-Target, Pyramid Mall
Girl complaining to her mother on cell phone: At least she could clean up the bathroom after she uses it. She left all her blonde stupid dumb hair in the shower.
– Libe Slope
Girl in knee-length spandex: Brr! Why am I so cold? [Pause] Oh, maybe it’s because I’m wearing shorts. Maybe that’s why I’m cold.
– Arts Quad in sub-40-degree weather
Obnoxious guy to girl selling breast cancer t-shirts: I’ll do it later, the kids with cancer will still have cancer…
Dumb girl: Born again Christianity is the new black.
Guy: She’s a sophomore with a pulse. Perfect for me.
[Girl 1 starts randomly singing Auld Lang Syne. After several minutes, Girl 2 enters.]
Girl 2: Why are you singing patriotic songs?
Girl 1: I don’t know. I’m so cracked out on Adderall right now, I don’t even know what I’m doing.
Frat Guy: Dude, Little Mermaid is a great date movie. If you can’t hook up with the girl, you can always jerk off to Ariel.
– Ho Plaza
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