May 4, 2007

Slope Day 2007

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Sources have confirmed that in an expected turn of events, rapper T.I., nee Clifford Joseph Harris Jr., will perform on Libe Slope today. According to such sources, today officially marks the last day of classes and is affectionately called “Slope Day,” a reference to the aforesaid slope on which thousands of Cornell students will celebrate the end of the semester with various forms of debauchery.
The self-proclaimed “King of the South,” T.I. hails from Atlanta, and has enjoyed recent success with several rap albums — including a Grammy Award for best collaboration for his work with Justin Timberlake in the hit single “My Love.”
There are unconfirmed reports that T.I. will demand excessive amounts of fried chicken and Nutter Butter cookies — as he did before performing at Yale, a feat which may prove difficult to achieve with the closing of Kentucky Fried Chicken in Ithaca this past year.
Also performing with T.I. during this event are Catch 22 and T.V. on the Radio.
The Sun has confirmed that beer will be sold to students who can prove, beyond all reasonable doubt, that they are indeed 21 years of age or older.
Traffic has been and will continue to be, until further notice, diverted from West Avenue. Tomorrow, TCAT routes 83 and 92 will be affected by road closures due to the festivities on the slope.

Slope Day Schedule
Gates Open: Noon – 6 p.m.
Food Service: Noon – 6 p.m.
Beer Bracelet Sales: Noon – 4 p.m.
Beer Service: Noon – 4:45 p.m.
SlopeFest: Noon – 4 p.m.
Stroll Exhibition: 2 p.m. – 4 p.m.
Musical Performers
Catch 22: 1:30 p.m.
TV on the Radio: 2:45 p.m.
T.I.: 4:15 p.m.