Get the real news about your campus in Overheard, every Thursday right here in Daze. And when you’re not reading, send your submissions to overheard.cornell@gmail.com. Keep them coming!
Free-spirited chick: You see, the thing is, you never really know if the
time is right … so you have to, you know, just go for it …
Friend: Five guys a week?
Free-spirited chick: It’s just that Cornell guys are so … dreamy …
Friend: That’s just wrong … There are two dreamy guys in all of Cornell, and
they are Mike and Steve. And neither of them are in your five.
—Ivy Room
Girl: So, what did you think of
my friend?
Dude: I mean, I couldn’t tell … she was wearing a really big shirt.
— College Ave.
Beefy guy: You know, they have Overheard at Yale, too, and damn! They’re
so much smarter than us.
Intellectual guy: Hey man, that’s just you. You’re the one who thought
that Pluto was a planet.
— Ivy Room
Mom: Danny, can you please stop touching everything in the store?
Danny: Mo—oooom! It’s because you never feed me.
Mom: Maybe I’d feed you if you were a good boy once in a while.
— Wegmans
Girl: You can tell a lot about a person from where they eat lunch.
Guy: What do you mean?
Girl: I eat at Trillium, and Mike, he eats at Oakenshields. You know?
— Oakenshields
Girl: [yelling] YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME! ALL I EVER HEAR IS FREAKING COMPUTER PROGRAMMING THIS AND SEMI-CONDUCTOR THAT. HOW ABOUT I WANT TO BANG YOU RIGHT NOW? EVER THOUGHT OF SAYING THAT?
Boy: …
— Ho Plaza
Chick: I think varsity athletes are so hot. Every time I see those red
shorts and grey t-shirts, I don’t even bother looking at his face.
— Tower Road
Scrawny dude: What time is it?
Girl: What?
Scrawny dude: What time is it?
Girl: What? Speak English.
Scrawny dude: What. Time. Is. It.
Girl: Forget it, it’s pointless to talk to you.
— Arts Quad
Big Dude 1: It’s kind of like when you really want a hamburger, but all you can find are hot dogs.
Big Dude 2: What does that mean?
Big Dude 1: Like you really want beef, but instead you get a beef by-product?
Big Dude2: Yeah, I hate that.
— Collegetown