February 16, 2001


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Yes, there are many things that are far from fair in the games of love and war. While the aspects commonly spoken of on the subjects of love and lust are the physical ecstasies and the emotional pains (and occasionally the pleasures), what we don’t usually talk about are the physical risks of our relationships. At the risk of sounding like a special episode of Family Ties or Full House, there is always the possibility of a pregnancy, an STD, or worse.


It was during the exam period of last year, the day before her Chemistry final, that Britney realized it. She was doing everything right. She was studying for her tests, she was taking herbal supplements, and was even doing a decent job at maintaining some form of a relationship with G. Killian (even though they were broken up and she had already slept with another guy). But it was then that she was looking at her calender and realized that her period was six days late, despite her religious use of birth control and condoms.

Britney was in a panic. She went out and bought a home pregnancy test, which she said was much worse than that first time buying condoms. She even bought other things to cover up the fact that she was getting a test. Then Britney did research on abortion, which didn’t really help her much with the Chemistry. Since she was on the pill, Britney didn’t really see how this could happen. That’s when Britney decided to do research on the only other thing that she could think of — the herbal supplements.

Britney found out that some herbal supplements have a way of counteracting the effects of the pill, which, she realized, was causing her delay. Lucky for Britney, she got her period later that day. The result was “so much relief.” And, lucky for G., he had gone home a week early and had the pleasure of learning about the ordeal on the phone, long after the crimson tide had started to flow. “I felt horrible about it,” he said. “We have it so easy [gesturing toward T.J.]. The stuff girls go through is incredible.” Despite this, however, both T.J. and G. agreed that if there was an effective pill for males that would prevent pregnancy, neither of them would go on it.

Britney is not the only FOUR-nication member to have such a scare. T.J. Cox has had unprotected sex with several partners. While these girls were on the pill, the pill doesn’t protect you from many things, AIDS in particular. He tried to justify his actions to himself. “Even though they were on the pill, I never came inside them. I’ve never come inside anyone as a safety precaution, even if I’m wearing a condom.”

T.J. got a test for the AIDS virus. “The whole process, including waiting two weeks, teaches you a lesson,” he said. Ironically, however, T.J. has had unprotected sex since his test.


Certainly not to make light of the dangers of disease or teen (or post-teen) pregnancies, there can be other physical dangers. The most prominent of which, according to T.J., Britney, and G. Killian, are bad handjobs. Of course, the guys had their advice to give.

T.J. advised that handjobs may feel better with a condom. “Hand lotion, that’s all it takes,” replied G. Killian. In order to make things better for Britney in the past, G. has asked her what he could do “down there” to improve his below-the-belt performance.

Unfortunately, Britney had little advice to share. “Some guys have it, some guys don’t.” What some guys don’t seem to understand though, is that “male masturbation can’t be interpreted.” She said that men like the same thing over and over, but for women, you have to do more.”

T.J. agreed with Britney. “When a girl doesn’t enjoy getting fingered, its because he’s doing what he does to himself.” His advice? “I advocate a girl masturbating if she has a boyfriend [so she can tell him what he should be doing].”

Fortunately, as disease and pregnancy go, studies say that hands are very safe to use. If you are doing anything else (other than kissing), I feel that it is our obligation as a forum for the discussion of all things sexual to highly advise the use of condoms, birth control, and even dental dams. It may not be quite as pleasurable, but at least you’ll have something to look forward to in games of love.

Archived article by Sun Staff