February 21, 2002

Entertainment News

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Match Made in Hell

MTV and heavy metal rock god Ozzy Osbourne will be teaming up to bring the world The Osbournes, an intimate look into the Osbourne household a la the Real World. I guarantee you that any given 15 seconds of footage from Ozzy’s house will be more interesting than the last 5 seasons of the Real World combined. The show premiers on March 5.

Strike Two

The second Hip-Hop Summit was held in Los Angeles this past weekend. Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan once again called on the music community to move away from violent lyrics and help the poor and minority communities that spawned their music. Given that 99% of all mainstream rap songs deal with sex and/or violence, Farrakhan’s request would unfortunately render the rap community identical to the porno industry, just with better music.

Future Imperfect

The Federal Trade commission and the state of Florida are the latest entities to file lawsuits against infamous psychic maven Miss Cleo, charging her with fraud and asking her to prove that she’s really a renowned clairvoyant from Jamaica. The FTC filed a complaint citing what FTC director of consumer protection, Howard Beales, called a “laundry list of unfair and deceptive practices against Cleo, real name Youree Dell Harris, and her Florida-based companies.

The suit orders Cleo/Harris to cease her advertising tactics, as well as seeks to shut her down completely and return money to consumers. According to Beales, at least 2,000 customers have complained of being gypped over the past 18 months. While Miss Cleo’s service promises free psychic readings, toll-free callers are immediately directed to a 1-900 number that costs $4.99 per minute. Apparently customers are also not informed that the charges mount even when they are put on hold.

The suits also accuse her of unrelenting telemarketing. Even after requesting to be placed on “do not call” lists, many customers have apparently received up to 10 calls a day from an automated message that claims “Miss Cleo has a dream about them and they should call back.” And you thought having Miss Cleo’s horrific screams of “call me now” assaulting you every 5 minutes on the television was bad.

The FTC and Florida will have to get in line, though, as Arkansas, Illinois, Missouri, New York, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin have all already filed suit charging Cleo/Harris with deception and fraud.

“Rather than consulting their tarot cards, Miss Cleo and ARS had better consult their lawyers,” said Florida Attorney General Bob Butterworth.

Added Beales, “It’s a mystery to us why Miss Cleo and her employers haven’t seen this coming.”

If Cleo really is a powerful occultist, Beales better hope she doesn’t decide to prove it by slapping a curse on him. He at least deserves a pin in his voodoo doll’s ass for all the bad psychic jokes.

Much Love

In a recent taping of Conversations From the Edge with Carrie Fisher for the Oxygen Network, Courtney Love stated she regrets marrying Kurt Cobain: “I wish I hadn’t married him … It’s cool having the last name, but once I was sitting talking to Lisa Marie Presley and thought, ‘This is going to suck.'” What, you mean your music or your personality?

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