November 7, 2002

Take One

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Despite often being a procrastinator myself, I hate getting to the movie theater late. I despise it, in fact. Not only do I feel rushed, not only do I feel like I won’t get a good seat (a bad seat, for those of you wondering, is the one behind a big bald man who chews popcorn loudly and repeats all the jokes to his neighbors), and not only do I worry about no longer being able to buy my medium Pepsi — only 9 dollars extra if I upgrade it to a large — but I suffer from extreme stress if I may potentially miss the upcoming attractions, the “previews.” This week, and occasionally throughout the year, I’m going to provide my own literary version of movie previews, an astute glimpse into the near cinematic future. In the true tradition of movie previews, I will, of course, provide only teasers. Alright, the lights have dimmed. Let’s get right to it