October 22, 2003

You're Kidding Me

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Jason Kidd revitalized the New Jersey Nets when he was acquired for Stephon Marbury before the 2001-02 season. He immediately lit up Byron Scott’s team, giving it better organization, crisper, more fundamental play, and perhaps most importantly, respect.

Kidd and the Nets, it seemed were the perfect match. This notion was solidified after last season, when Kidd signed a six year, $99 million contract extension with New Jersey. Problem is, though, it seems now Kidd thinks that this newfound permanence has given him the right to try to dictate the Nets business. Bad move, Jason.

Currently, the Nets are up for sale by parent company YankeeNets. Among the possible suitors is Charles Wang, the billionaire founder of Computer Associates and owner of the New York Islanders. Wang has stated that if he purchases the Nets, he will move the franchise back to its one-time home in Nassau County, likely in a new facility shared by the Islanders.

Kidd, though, apparently thinks it’s in his right to demand the Nets not move to Nassau County. The irony here is that Kidd would not object to the team moving to Brooklyn.

Anyone else see a serious flaw in Kidd’s reasoning?

Nassau County executive Tom Suozzi does.

“Jason Kidd must be kidding,” Suozzi told Newsday on Oct. 10. “There is a reason Nassau County and Long Island have the highest rising property values in the nation. People want to live here.”

But, evidently, Jason Kidd is not “people.”

“I didn’t sign on for Long Island. We’re happy right where we’re at,” he said.

Well, Jason, I’m happy for you. I’m very glad that you’re happy where you’re “at.” Long Island doesn’t want you anyway. And there are plenty of reasons why.

First of all, your grammar is an embarrassment. Nassau County prides itself on having several of the finest public schools in the country, a fact that I’m sure about half of Cornell would be thrilled to verify. Statements such as “we’re happy right where we’re at” simply will not fly. Try “where we are,” Einstein.

Which brings me to my next point. I bet you had no idea that good old Albert himself spent the latter years of his life living in New Jersey and teaching at Princeton. But then, you probably didn’t know that Princeton’s in New Jersey.

Thirdly, your history of spousal abuse is also rather problematic. You may recall that a lot of the reason you’re even with the Nets is because you are a wife beater. Remember, Jerry Colangelo, the owner of the Phoenix Suns, just couldn’t stand the fact that you struck your wife, so he traded you. And you complained when that went down, didn’t you?

Of course, now you love it with the Nets. There’s no place you’d rather be, no organization you’d rather be a part of. You love the Nets so much so that during the summer, you threatened to defect to the San Antonio Spurs if the Nets didn’t fire Scott.

Oh, whoops. My bad, I brought up another example of your power hunger. Apparently, this is a trend with you. You just don’t know when to stop. You don’t know your limits.

Finally, your geographic illiteracy is just laughable. Um, you’ll play in Brooklyn, but not 10 miles east in Uniondale? What’s the matter? Nassau County’s not gangsta enough for you? Frankly, Jason, I’m offended. We are plenty gangsta out on the Island. Now you’ve struck a low blow.

Honestly, though, who do you think you are? You’re a great player, probably the best point guard in the NBA. I don’t think anyone would dispute that. But, dude, you need to remember you’re the player, not the owner. Sometimes, you just need to keep your mouth shut.


Archived article by Owen Bochner

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