November 6, 2003

Gotta Have It

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MTV’s creative team is at it again with the debut of yet another new reality show appropriately named Rich Girls. The “reality” in this case assumes that you’re a teenager with unlimited access to credit cards, and the “show” assumes people want to watch, but hey, it could happen right? The series centers around real-life best buddies Jaime Gleicher and Ally Hilfiger — that’s right, of that Hilfiger family — and follows them around as the duo credit cards its way to a life most of us can only dream and fantasize about. You could have followed my lead and avoided the show at all costs — but that strategy only goes so far when you consider how many times the episodes are probably going to be running. I’m going to ask a quick rhetorical question: does MTV still stand for “music television?” But, I digress. In ode to everyone too affluent for their own good (ahem, Anna Nicole Smith), today’s installment of Gotta Have It focuses on three items of pure heartless extravagance. This one is for you Ally and Jaime, you rotten, spoiled, miserable brats. And here’s an additional disclaimer: any normal person who can honestly tell you that they’ve given serious thought to owning one or any of these products is flat out lying.

See the Bigger Picture

Let’s be honest here: nothing says “I’m made of money” more than a deliciously distasteful television home theater system big and loud enough to blast your neighbors’ ear drums back to the stone age. You could max out sizewise with a huge projection television system like the 65″ Sony Widescreen HDTV package, but let’s be reasonable: with a modest $3,299 suggested retail price the system just isn’t extravagant enough for our suddenly inflated taste. Instead, you might want to head over to the wonderful world of flat. Jared pulled it off seamlessly with the help of Subway sandwiches, but most don’t make the transition as easily. At just around 10 grand, Sony’s 50″ XBR Plasma Wega High Definition Television is the television unit out there. The Osbournes may have a number of flat screen televisions stationed around their pad, but with a screen this big you’ll have ’em beat for sure. As far as sound is concerned, check out the Bose Lifestyle 35E Home Entertainment System. The five speaker package delivers the cleanest, crispest sound available on the market at the slim cost of only maxing out one platinum credit card. Insert cash register ringing sound effect now. (

Grand Accommodations are Just Thousands of Dollars Away!

As Forbes magazine recently quipped: “only people who regularly drop large amounts of cash at the MGM Casino are extended an invitation to stay at one of the 29 villas within the Mansion at MGM Grand.” Curious about the most expensive hotel suites currently in operation in the states? Read on. The aforementioned Mansion was completed just four years ago as a separate wing to the majestic MGM Grand Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada. Suddenly the logic becomes clear: most extravagant city, most expensive accommodation option. The rooms are honestly remarkable and deserve poetic description — sorry to burst your bubble but you’re stuck with me. Feel free to spread out to any of the four lavishly appointed bedrooms. Spend an afternoon or perhaps even a whole day lounging poolside by the indoor pool area. The whole 12,000 square foot villa is yours for the exploring; that is to say if you don’t mind dropping $15,000 per night. And yes math majors, that comes out to about a dollar and a quarter per square foot. Then on top of that add the room service bill. Ouch. Also included with your rental fee are a private garden, movie screening room, and personal butler. Slip him a few extra bills during your stay and maybe he’ll let you call him Jeeves even if he’s not British. (

I Get Around

So you’re on your way to your penthouse mansion