November 13, 2003
Crypt of Mediocrity
| November 13, 2003
Right now, right here, in this column/arena/killing field, I am going to posit G.G. Allin as the true poet laureate of the last century. But before I do, let me demonstrate why you need to take this arrogant snide “critic’s” tastes seriously. My favorite movie is Citizen Casablanca. My favorite album is, I don’t know, something by The Beatles. I like Shakespeare and Mozart. And Dave Matthews. Clearly my glorious preferences show that I should have the power to tell you what to think. So type after me: “My favorite song-poem of all time is G.G. Allin’s ‘Suck My Ass It Smells.'”
I know what you’re thinking. The title doesn’t sound promising (or, for some of you, sounds too promising). Well, Langston Hughes was a stupid name too, and he was still the greatest sitcom star of all time. Many people probably already know who G.G. Allin is and what he represents (hint: Romanticism), but because I have very little to talk about here, I might as well assume everyone on this campus only listens to Monica’s new single. So in a Jack Black-inspired frenzy, let me indulge in some PUNK ROCK MOTHERFUCKER!! G.G. was a “musician” only if we admit that feces is an instrument. An average G.G. show in the ’80s consisted of a lot of nudity, urination, and defecation. While Pete Townsend might’ve thrown his instrument at the drum kit, G.G. threw his “instrument” in girls’ faces. G.G. kept all his possessions in a brown paper bag, which is basically equivalent to saying he carried around an empty paper bag for most of his life. If he ever actually owned anything, it was his own blood, except instead of containing it in his body like most people, he vomited it up and fell asleep in it. At various shows, he promised to kill himself, cut his chest with a boxcutter, kicked a girl in the head, and had girls piss in his mouth. His fans, his FANS mind you, broke his arm and beat him up when he was unconscious. Take that, Robert Frost!
But I can hear you asking, “What about the music though?” Music? This is a man who has about ten songs that start with, “I’m going to rape you.” Maybe it sort of sounds like the Germs if they played their guitars by stomping on them in red cowboy boots. I don’t think I’m able to transcribe any of the lyrics (even in this liberal paper), but I will try to get at least one brilliant quatrain through the editors: “Wanna fuck you up the ass, lick the shit out your crack/ Get it in until you bleed, piss in your mouth so you can’t breathe.” This is repeated four times. Note the assonance in the first line and the use of hysteron proteron throughout. The symbolism is both startling and natural, while the similarity to the traditional chanson de geste brings to mind chivalry even as the content betrays a perhaps misogynistic undercurrent. Truly a genius, G.G. lives on in grad seminars everywhere.
Archived article by Alex Linhardt
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November 14, 2003
The Cornell University Police Department is investigating an assault that occurred following the Ludacris and Nappy Roots concert at Barton Hall on Sunday evening. A female Cornell junior has reported being attacked by a group of five females and one male, resulting in a ruptured ear drum, 13 stitches on her lower lip and other cuts and bruises. The victim, who is white, said the attack was a hate crime and identified the alleged assailants as African American. “It was right outside Barton, right in front of the doors under the lights. The girls asked me to go to the parking lot, but I didn’t want to,” the victim, who asked not to be identified, told The Sun yesterday afternoon. A police officer responded to the incident at 11:47 Sunday evening, appearing the next day in the CUPD’s morning report. The incident has since been under investigation. “We are investigating the incident. We have two investigators and a lieutenant working on it,” said Capt. Curtis Ostrander, deputy director of the CUPD. The victim alleges that the assault outside of Barton was committed by individuals who had confronted her while still at the concert. “Two of them punched me during the concert and that got broken up,” she said. The CUPD began questioning witnesses on Tuesday, according to Linda Grace-Kobas, interim vice president for communications and media relations. Police do not yet know if the alleged assailants were students or local residents. According to Grace-Kobas, a police officer was responding to a separate call when the incident occurred. The officer went to the victim’s assistance, bringing her to the emergency medical services team in Barton Hall assembled for the concert. “This is a very serious incident. The University will do everything it can to support the investigation,” Grace-Kobas said. As part of the investigation, the victim has been working with the CUPD to identify the assailants. “All week I’ve been helping the police to make up composites,” she said. “Obviously, we want to find out who these people are.” The sponsors of the concert, the Cornell Concert Commission, the African Latino Asian Native American Programming Board and the Minority Concert Fund Advisory Board, all refused to comment to The Sun. The CUPD has pursued other leads through their investigation. “We do have a few leads. You have to follow down all the leads and cross-check your sources in a case like this. We are pursuing it aggressively,” Ostrander said. Because the assault may have been racially motivated, a bias-related incident report has been filed with the Office of Workforce Diversity, Equity and Life Quality. A bias-related incident report differs from a bias crime report, “which would be a crime perpetrated solely on the basis of race or discrimination,” Ostrander said. “We don’t think that was the case, but because of some statements that were said, a bias incident report was filed.” According to Robert L. Harris Jr., vice provost for diversity and faculty development, the assault would be determined a bias crime if “the assailants are identified and it is determined that a crime has been committed.” Lynette Chappell-Williams, director of the Office of Workforce Diversity, Equity and Life Quality, explained the reporting process. “A report is completed and faxed into our office. … We share the information with a group of administrators from throughout the University,” she said. “Part of the effort is to make sure the individual who experienced the bias gets connected to the proper resources in the University.” According to Chappell-Williams, “the victim has been connected with someone from our response team.” According to Grace-Kobas, Dean of Students Kent Hubbell ’67 is in contact with the victim’s family. It is the responsibility of this counselor to refer the victim to “all of those kinds of things that might be helpful,” she added. These resources can include the victim advocate and the Counseling and Psychological Services office. The victim and CUPD are hoping that more information will be obtained from witnesses. “If people saw [the assailants] better than me, maybe they can do a better job describing them to the police,” the victim said. Anyone with additional information about the attack or the assailants are asked to contact the Cornell Police at 255-1111. Archived article by Marc Zawel
November 14, 2003
“Oh, joy,” said a befuddled and perhaps somewhat dejected Ithaca Mayor Alan Cohen ’81 as he made his way through a capacity-brimming Common Council Chambers last night in the midst of a five-hour-long meeting of the Ithaca Landmarks Preservation Commission. Four projects were up for review by the commission last night, including the Lake Street and University Avenue parking lot which met with strong criticism from members of the Cornell community and the Ithaca area. Last year, the parking lot controversy arose with concerns over the negative impact such a project would have, including noise pollution, aesthetic destruction and historic loss. The City Planning and Development Board did not approve the project as it was presented at the time with the Phase One plans of the West Campus Residential Initiative and asked the University to seek other alternatives. The University brought suit against the city in response. An Oct. 29 New York Supreme Court decision forced the planning board to accept the parking plan, which it did on Nov. 5. During the course of these events, students and local residents petitioned the city to turn the area just west of the current WCRI construction into the Cornell-Treman Historical District, spanning from the Von Cromm and Stewart Ave. Cooperative residences to Llenroc. The Landmarks Preservation Commission is the last major review for the University before construction may begin. “The purview of the commission is to determine the significance of the proposal, or lack of significance with respect to historic preservation,” said commission president David Beer to the standing-room-only crowd which consisted of roughly 80 students from the area wearing red shirts. However, by the time proceedings began on the parking lot project, it was already after 9:30 p.m. “If it’s past midnight at the end of the public commentary period, we will recess to the next meeting,” Beer said. Kathryn Wolf, a principal architect with Trowbridge & Wolf, the landscape architecture firm working for the University on the lot, began the presentation by addressing the details of the project and pointing to changes made in response to past objections. “We are seeking a certificate of appropriateness,” she said in her opening remarks. In response to historic preservation concerns, Wolf noted that the Carriage Path, a trail near the Treman properties on the northeast edge of the site, would “still well around the three houses.” She also said that according to sources at the Cornell Plantations the Redbud Woods, the area directly affected by the proposed construction, was “basically a good example of poor-quality ecology.” Wolf then addressed some of the other concerns of community members. “No increase in parking spaces is being proposed for the neighborhood,” she said. The lot is intended to directly replace spaces destroyed during WCRI work. Wolf also said that “a number of alternatives were considered.” However, the firm determined that the site was the best choice in the area for their needs. A major concern Wolf addressed was the aesthetic impact of the lot. “The parking lot is terraced to fit into the slope,” she said. “The entire parking lot is not visible from any location.” Also planned is “along the west and wrapping to the north, a continuous planting of evergreen trees.” The intention is that the trees will act as a screen for both unwanted sights and sounds. Other efforts include major steps such as the depression of the lot to 12 feet below street level in some places and ornamental shrubs around the evergreen screen. Also proposed are state-of-the-art “spill eliminator” lights which would direct less intense light more efficiently and less invasively to adjacent residences. Nonetheless, with the practical details of project explained, the commission’s purview remained essentially over the historical significance of the area and the proposed project’s effect on it. Robert Corby, of the Rochester architecture firm Bero Architecture, spoke next. The firm’s specialty lies with historic preservation concerns. “[We] refer to the standards developed by the National Park Service,” Corby said in his address’s opening. He then went through the process as it was done by Bero in accordance with the standards advocated by the park service. Corby said they researched the entire area stretching from University Avenue to Myron Taylor Hall. Then the firm identified the historic period or style that was being dealt with. Corby said that the Cornell-Treman Historic District’s major historic importance was that of “country estates.” One step in the process which brought up particular debate was evaluating historic resources. “[We are] trying to quantify differences in different areas of the site,” Corby said. “We are searching for the site of least impact.” Corby said Wolf’s firm followed suggestions made to help maintain these historic resources including utilizing the slope of the area, having a single entrance drive, preserving long-existing trees and renovating the Carriage Path. After Corby finished his presentation, Kathleen Malone, a landscape consultant based in Cazenovia, N.Y., who was hired by the University through Wolf as an independent peer reviewer, addressed the commission. According to Malone, the area “lacks a high level of historical integrity.” She also said that “the juxtaposition of suburban versus urban estates reflects an understanding” represented in the Cornell-Treman area which she described as “an oasis in an urban setting.” Malone hailed the work of Bero during the evaluation as “model” and that the concerns before the commission “represent Ithaca’s landmark preservation efforts.” Malone’s remarks ended the University’s presentation to the commission. Next, experts from Ithaca were brought in to give their own testimony concerning the historical significance of the area and the project’s impact. Thaisa Way grad presented her research into the relationship between the Cornell-Treman area and noted architect Warren H. Manning. Such involvement can greatly raise the historical value of an area, according to Secretary of the Interior guidelines. “Manning bridged the gap between Victorian gardens and modern landscapes,” Way said, emphasizing the relevance of the architect. Presenting with Way, Janet Shur said, “the lack of documentation [of Manning’s work with the area] does not in any shape or form disprove anything.” Both presenters cited an Ithaca Daily News article from the turn of the century which claimed both Manning and famed Ithaca architect William Henry Miller were involved with the Treman property. “Manning became a partner in Treman’s first civic park planning shortly after the completion of the [Treman] property,” Shur said. Also with Way and Shur, Trina Meiser grad continued with the presentation, saying that the project “clearly contradicts Secretary of the Interior guidelines.” Meiser also noted that though the integrity of the site may be compromised, “it can be restored.” However, Meiser said that once the construction begins, the Cornell-Treman areas’ integrity can never be regained, which, if true, is in disharmony with guidelines. After the presentations were finished, debate was opened to the public with half an hour left until midnight, after which the discussion would be tabled until the commission’s next meeting in December. Beer, the preservation commission’s president, said 80 people had submitted requests to speak in t
he room, which had a 76-person capacity. Most of the 80 requests were from students who came out to speak against the project. Many shared experiences living in one of the properties in the area and enjoying the Redbud Woods area. “I was in a tree all day, for about nine hours; it was cold,” said Elizabeth Anne Millhollen ’05. “The view was definitely historic.” Millhollen, who spent the morning sitting in a tree on the Cornell-Treman lot protesting the project, also commented on problems with the proposed evergreen tree screen: “There is going to come trouble when [the trees] get big.” Faith Dukakis, an Ithaca resident and frequent attendee of Town Hall meetings, also addressed the commission against the project. “This is the last hurdle; here is the pivotal meeting,” she said. “This meeting is going to tell Cornell you can’t just dump on me.” Some speakers brought up concerns over evergreen overgrowth, sound pollution, drainage problems and lot safety, among many others. Discussion was held after half an hour. “I think we had a real solid day,” said Sun columnist Danny Pearlstein ’05, president of the 660 Stewart Cooperative Residence. “Now we have a full month to mull this over.” “This is truly what democracy looks like — a couple of hired guns and everyone else who hates the idea,” Pearlstein added. Corby thought it was a bit “premature” to say how the meeting went. “I think there is some confusion in understanding what the goal is.” “The point is not to freeze time but to preserve as much as possible,” he said. Archived article by Brian Kaviar