February 5, 2004

Test Spin: Eisley

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Eisley, like all mediocre bands, consists of four siblings and a bassist. They emerge from the bowels of the faceless clones of The Bends to usher in a fresh take on vacant epic-twee guitars and lyrics that relate unbearably stupid fantabulous environments full of leaf-gnomes and strawberry bunnies. Cavernous keyboards and masturbatory solos rebound off the EP’s four tracks making a curiously ponderous mood for a vocalist who’s clearly wearing a smile that could crack her face in half. The attempts at jangled choruses and faint fey-funk only bring the album to more depraved depths of tediousness and clich