By October 21, 2005
Ah yes, the movie cameo. Never has a cinematic device existed that was so unstudied. What is it about a notable person self-parodying himself that pleases us so much? Well placed in a movie, a good cameo can end up being one of the film’s greatest moments. However, if overloaded, it can often hurt the film that it was meant to help (anybody remember Mark Hamil making a complete fool of himself in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back?) While the cameo can be effectively used in a drama (just check out Martin Scorsece’s homicidal backseat confession in Taxi Driver) they often are the most effective in comedies. Here’s my rundown of the five best: 5. Alfred Hitchcock in … Nearly Every Film He Made This master director may have single-handedly made cameos popular. Looking for the master of suspense in his movies is part of a Hitchcock ritual. Sometimes he just walks by the camera like in Psycho and Vertigo. At other times look for more comical appearances as he misses the bus in North by Northwest or sits uncomfortable close to Cary Grant in To Catch a Thief. He even manages to appear, in his own special way, in Lifeboat, which, as the title suggests, occurs completely on a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean. You’ll have to find that one yourself. 4. Lance Armstrong, Chuck Norris and David Hasselhoff in Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) Most films can only balance one cameo, but Dodgeball managed to juggle three perfect appearances, all for hilarious results. From Lance Armstrong (“You know, once I was thinking of quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer all at the same time – So what are you dying of that’s keeping you from the finals?”) to Chuck Norris, who merely has to give us a thumbs up to get us rolling over with laughter, this movie has it all. However, in my book nothing beats David Hassellhoff berating a bunch of Germans: “You are all swine! You have brought shame to your houses! Losers!” Perfect. 3. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in Airplane! (1980) Nothing is funnier than watching Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, playing a co-pilot, squirm in his seat as some annoying kid keeps on nagging him about his true identity. The scene is pushed even more into the absurd when Kareem has to deal with neurotic pilot Peter Graves asking “You ever seen a grown man naked?” Still the brilliance is how this cameo not only parodies Abdul-Jabbar, but the always present pro-athlete in corny 1970s disaster films. Of course nothing is funnier than when he finally caves and schools the brat: “LISTEN KID. I’ve been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA.” 2. Marshall McLuhan in Annie Hall (1977) Okay, we’ve all been there. You’re waiting in line somewhere, whether it’s for lunch at a dining hall or movie tickets and you find yourself behind “that guy” talking obnoxiously loud and making some unnecessary hand gestures, all in an effort to impress his date. Waiting in line for the movies, Woody Allen in Annie Hall can’t take it anymore when some tool is trying to impress his date by telling her about the arguments of communications theorist Marshall McLuhan. When Allen intervenes to tell the jackass he’s completely wrong, he turns and starts telling us how he’s a professor and knows everything when, what do you know, McLuhan himself comes out of nowhere to tell him, “You know nothing of my work!” leaving the dingbat dumbstruck and us grinning in our seats. 1. Bob Barker in Happy Gilmore (1996) “I don’t want a PIECE of you, I want the whole THING!” To this day, I almost wet my pants laughing, when I watch the kind man who gives out free stuff from plinko and advises my grandparents to spay and neuter their pets, beating the snot out of Adam Sandler. When the bastion of happy-go-lucky daytime entertainment went all out on that golf course, Barker made the best self-parody in movie history. This scene actually goes down in history as the first winner of MTV Movie Award for Best Fight. Also, Bob apparently does have a competitive side; it is reported that he only agreed to appear in the film if he was assured that he would win the confrontation. Archived article by Mark RiceFilm Editor
By October 21, 2005
While the Cornell football team (3-2, 1-1 Ivy) is riding a two-game winning streak, after home wins against Harvard and Georgetown, the Red will have its hands full, as it hosts Brown (4-1, 1-1 Ivy) tomorrow at Schoellkopf Field. Since both teams already have one Ivy League loss heading into tomorrow’s game, the loser will find its chances of winning an Ivy title severely diminished. “This is probably going to be the biggest game to date right now,” said senior safety Jeff Hahn. “We treat every game like it’s big but this one, of course, has much higher implications because of how explosive they’ve been and how explosive we’ve been. It’s two teams on the up going at it, so it’s going to be real important for us to get off to a good start right away.” The main concern for Cornell will be Brown’s potent offense, which is considered one of the best in the nation. The Bears have averaged 451.6 yards and 36.4 points per contest this season and have scored at least 31 points in each game this season. To further compound matters, Brown boasts Walter Payton candidate Nick Hartigan, who leads Division I-AA in rushing yards per game with 165.4. Last week, Hartigan ran wild, compiling 245 yards on 38 carries in Brown’s 31-28 win over Princeton, in which the Bears needed a fourth quarter, 81-yard drive to put away the Tigers. In addition, junior quarterback Joe DiGiacomo leads a strong Brown aerial attack. DiGiacomo has thrown for nine touchdowns and a 227 yards per game average, primarily hooking up with his favorite target, receiver Jarrett Schreck, who is ninth in the nation in receiving yards per game with 104.33. Similar to its strategy against the balanced offense the Red saw against Harvard two weeks ago, Cornell will attempt to stop the run and limit the Bears’ big play potential. “We’re not going to change anything, we’re going to get in there like in the past couple of weeks and our focus is always to stop the run first,” said senior linebacker Patrick Potts. “Guys are going to have to step up this week, especially with a great running back like [Hartigan] and get the job done.” At the same time however, Cornell is playing extremely well, as it heads into tomorrow’s game against the Bears. The Red dominated Georgetown 57-7 in a homecoming win last week, limiting the Hoyas to just 86 yards of total offense. Under head coach Jim Knowles ’87, Cornell has made Schoellkopf Field one of the most difficult places to play in the Ivies, as the Red is 3-0 at home this season. “Having such an important, pivotal Ivy League game, we couldn’t be coming in with more momentum than we have right now,” Knowles said. “We are on track and together as a team, and people are playing from their heart. It’s a lot of fun to be around these guys right now.” Particularly surprising in comparison to previous years has been the impressive play of the Cornell offense. Last week against Georgetown, Cornell’s running game went to town on the Hoyas’ defense, compiling 323 yards. “Since I’ve been here, this is the first time that our offense has looked anything close to as good as it has been looking,” said senior tailback Joshua Johnston, who ran for 88 yards on 18 carries and a touchdown against Georgetown. “I think it’s [only] getting better.” This effort was led by senior quarterback Ryan Kuhn, who despite only playing two and a half quarters, ran for 85 yards and three touchdowns. The Red’s ground game will further be boosted with the news that sophomore tailback Luke Siwula will be in the starting lineup and get his normal share of carries after suffering an injury during the third quarter in the Red’s win over Georgetown. Last weekend, Knowles gave game balls to the offensive linemen for their major contributions in controlling the Georgetown run defense. “To build a great program, your young offensive linemen need vision for the future and that’s what our offensive line is creating right now with the running game,” Knowles said. “We’re still going to have to throw the ball to win, but when you run it the way we do, you can control the game.” With Brown and Cornell seemingly very tightly matched, the difference maker could be special teams. Since returning to Schoellkopf Field against Harvard two weeks ago, the Red special teams unit has been impressive in setting the tone and preventing opposing teams from gaining good field position. In addition, senior placekicker A.J. Weitsman, this week’s Ivy League Special Teams Player of the Week, is 8-of-9 on field goal attempts this year, while sophomore punter Michael Bolling has averaged 35.8 yards per punt, as 12 of his 24 punts have landed inside the opponent’s 20-yard line. “The Ivy League is so close [and] special teams can swing a game,” Knowles said. “I’ve had some of our leading donors and greatest players in the history of Cornell call strictly because of the kickoff team and when you have people call about the kickoff team, that means they’re having fun watching the game and that’s all about attitude.” Tomorrow’s game time is set for 1 p.m. The forecast is for showers with a high of around 50 degrees. Archived article by Brian Tsao Sun Assistant Sports Editor