Friday is by far the biggest holiday to hit Cornell campus all year. For you freshmen/transfers who’ve never experienced the drunken blur of joy that is Slope day, get ready. This long awaited day is truly the time when you can show off your beer gut with pride while challenging everyone to a 10 a.m. pong championship. Like every special occasion, this day truly calls for the proper attire. Appropriate apparel, accessories and alcohol are mandatory in preparation for the festivities that will ensue.
First and foremost, if you’re planning on attending any of the numerous keg parties that are bound to commence Friday morning, make sure you’re wearing pants of capris. Hanging upside down, chugging beer, while wearing a mini is highly frowned upon. Don’t show your skivvies; this isn’t Cancun.
On that same note, refrain from sporting a white shirt to said events. Not only are you guaranteed to be covered in some form of alcohol, you’ll look like a contestant in a wet t-shirt contest. We recommend instead a funny beer themed shirt boasting your drinking prowess or your latest drunken mishap.
The third and final apparel tip is make sure to wear a pair of sacrificial flip flops. Not your rainbows and not your Chanels. Just a cheap crappy pair of Old Navys will do, because you’re bound to lose one while drunkenly rolling around on the slope.
Accessories are most definitely the things that bring the outfit together, and this case is no exception. To reign in the world of raging alcoholics, you must be equipped with the proper tools. For those times when a two-second beer is essential, you need to have a beer funnel on hand. We prefer the high tech, fancy schmancy ones with the open-close knob for a relaxing chugging experience.
Those of you who are thrifty can just buy a hose and stick a funnel on it, but that’s like making your own distressed jeans and often has catastrophic results.
Protective and useful headware is also a suitable extra for your slope day ensemble. Spencer’s has an impressive collection of beer helmets of every style one could wish for, proving that they are convenient for more than just buying a candied thong. Now you can get hit in the head while enjoying a Bud all at the same time … what could b ebetter?
To protect your hand from the icy metal of your Beast, might we suggest investing in the oh-so-cute beer koozies used and loved by our state school counterparts. For the preppy types, you can get your name or sorority monogrammed into grosgrain ribbon which is tied in a cute bow around your beverage of choice.
For the manly men, you can get anything from WWF wrestling to your favorite stripper’s ass cheek printed on the foam covering. Drink your cold beer leisurely and in style.
By far our favorite booze inspired accessory is the Corona necklace and beer opener earrings. Ditch your David Yurman for this momentous occasion and don a pair of Dos Equis-opening dangles. Not only are they hilarious, they are functional in so many ways. You will definitely win the title of the ultimate party go-er and will truly be the center of everyone’s attention, though this center is bound to get a little blurry throughout the day.
Archived article by Maria Panagopulos and Joanna DiCostanzo