September 7, 2006

The Best Spots To Get Overheard

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A list of the best overhearing spots, as reported to me in a random and extemporaneous survey: Anywhere there are sorority girls … Libe Café …s itting in a tree on the Arts Quad when people don’t know you’re there … your mom … near the personal lube at Wegmans … Bear Nasties at 1 AM … sitting outside your window… in the bathroom while people talk on their cellphones … while I pretend to read the newspaper in Okenshield’s … walking really close to people yapping on phones … hiding in freshman shower stalls [at this creepy juncture, I stopped asking]. Where ever you listen, keep sending the best you hear to [email protected]. Every Thursday in the Sun.

Frat boy: You can’t spell fun without funnel. Wait… fuck …
-Undisclosed location

Guy, to group of friends: Hey! If I buy an orange, will you peel it for me?
[no one responds]
Guy, to no one: Well, I guess I won’t get one, then…
-Green Dragon Café
Sorority girl : OMG we don’t wear Aero, we’re Abercrombie girls!
-Eddy Street

Little boy on cell phone, riding bike: Mommmm … mommmm….mommm…hold on! I have another call!
– Downtown

Girl 1: Do you have a tampon?
Girl 2, whips around and looks at her ass: Why? Do I need one?

Girl: With this new facebook thing, I’m so bored. It’s like the Industrial Revolution…my entire mode of production has changed.
Guy: What are you going to do with your free time now?
Girl: Smoke weed.

Forty-something woman on cell phone: Yeah, I think the relationship is doing well. I mean, we talk every night on AIM … [pause] … Yeah, he always responds right away … [pause] … No, he doesn’t use emoticons. I said things were going well!
-Arts Quad

Guy to Girl: Airplane tickets for sex? Deal.
-Times Square, NYC

Girl: So who did you hook up with this weekend?

Guy on cell phone: Yeah, I’m at the Library … [pause] … Yeah, Uris … [pause] … yeah, a while, I’ve got a lot to get done tonight.
-Bathroom, Dino’s

Girl 1: So why is it called the Arts Quad?
Girl 2: Uh, I think it’s got something to do with quadriceps, people used to work out on it before there were other fields.
-Arts Quad(rangle)