Before the women’s soccer team’s final game of the season this weekend, Sun Assistant Sports Editor Lance Williams juggled around with senior Mariye Wick. Williams has yet to recover from the blow to the head.
1. You teased me about saying your name wrong before, so how do you actually pronounce it? For the record, I thought it was Maria. But you said that was wrong so what is it?
That is what a lot of people say. It’s actually Mahr-e-yay.
Wow. I was way off.
You weren’t so bad. I go by Mari though, M-A-R-I.
But this begs the question, where does a name like that come from?
Well I’m half Japanese and half Norwegian but I don’t really know. It’s from somewhere, it just isn’t Japanese or Norwegian. But I think it’s the closest thing my parents could come up with to combine the two.
Well it is certainly not a name from Washington. How many Mariye’s do you think live in Washington?
Probably just me.
Yeah I’m going to go with you, and you alone. And speaking of Washington, I think you are far too tan to be from Washington.
Washington doesn’t get a lot of sun does it?
Yes it does!
No. You liar. The Northeast? We’re talking about the same place here, right?
That’s embarrassing for me. I meant to say that. Well, I just thought that Seattle is notorious for a lot of rain and what not.
Yeah it is notorious for that but I’d have to disagree with people who say that it has bad weather. It never snows there and it rains in the winter, but the summer — from July 4 until the end of October — is like seventy degrees everyday and sunny.
So much better than Ithaca?
That’s saying something right there.
It doesn’t snow, it doesn’t sleet …
I’m sorry, it doesn’t sleet?
There was sleet at our practice yesterday!
What exactly is sleet? Please enlighten me.
But is it really? I don’t think anyone really knows what sleet actually is. But this goes perfectly into my next question, which is, do you have a little Dora the Explorer in you?
[Laughing] Oh my God.
Well, while you laugh, let me tell you what. I Googled her because I didn’t know who this was. But now that I have, I can definitely see a striking resemblance. She’s shorter and, you know, a cartoon, but other than that, it’s right on.
Well one of the older girls on the soccer team came up with this for me a couple of years ago. I think it came from the fact that I always have a backpack.
That could be a factor.
Because I don’t really do purses and even when we’re all just going out to dinner, I always bring a backpack.
What do you put in there?
I have temperature problems and get cold …
What does that mean? Your whole body? For example, my extremities often get cold but …
No, nothing like that. You never know when it can be cold. For instance the movies are usually cold so I’ll pack an extra jacket in the backpack.
So you’re a planner?
Yeah and sometimes I just like to have stuff available to me.
Always be prepared! Were you a girl scout?
So where is this coming from? Just your motherly instincts?
I guess so yeah.
2. So you seem very sweet to me but I hear stories that you are not necessarily as sweet as one might think. Are you prone to lying?
People started thinking that about me because I have a very vivid imagination.
What does that mean?
I imagine a lot of things.
Like dead people?
No, no. Nice things! For instance, I’ll tell my friends that people said nice things about them because I figure that the people probably said that about them.
But they didn’t necessarily do that?
Yeah, or I’ll be embarrassed about something and just completely lie about it.
Please tell, what would you be embarrassed about?
No! More things from like, freshman year.
Ahhh! We’re going to get to that, I’m glad you brought that up.
So you’re not a pathological liar?
No, not at all! I actually think honesty is very important; I want to put that out there.
I do too. Absolutely, throw that out there.
Well I think the problem is that my lies are really, uh, you’re good with words what’s the word?
Elaborate, but not necessarily harmful?
So your initial sweetness is not a front?
No! At least I don’t think so. Unless you’re talking about me on the soccer field.
Ohhh, look at you. You transitioned perfectly into my next question, which is, are you a bitch on the soccer field?
I mean, isn’t that the point? What does sweetness get you on the soccer field?
I understand, it’s competitive.
I will say that I don’t think I ever start it.
Yeah, for example in our last game against Dartmouth, I was running down the sideline with the ball and this girl was grabbing my arm. So to get free, I threw my arm at her and hit her like this …
In the face!
She was like, “Oh my eye! I can’t see anything out of my eye!”
[Laughing] You are a bitch out there!
And they called a foul on her. But the problem was that it was right in front of their bench and I just felt like an ass.
Yeah, so they got pissed and yelled at you the whole game, right?
No I actually apologized to the girl after the game because her face was all swollen.
Ahhh! You f—– up her face! That’s amazing. How hard did you hit her?
It just kind of happened. It wasn’t like I hit her!
Hey, I know from these interviews that women’s sports can be brutal, so you don’t have to defend yourself to me.
I should show you all my bruises! It’s terrible.
I believe it.
3. Speaking of your actions on the soccer field, have you ever asked your coach to take you out of the game in an interesting way?
Yes. I said, “My technique is failing me, I can’t contribute” or something like that.
Yes very close. I believe the quote is, “My technical ability is failing me. I can no longer contribute.”
Oh my gosh. That was at Brown and …
[Laughing] Were you high?
I mean wouldn’t it have been easier just to say, “I want to come out, I’m tired.”
For like 10 minutes straight, whenever I got the ball I just passed it to the other team. So I was really frustrated and was very tired. And when you’re really tired, your technique breaks down …
I understand. So you felt a need to communicate that to your coach.
Instead of whining and being like, “I’m tired, take me out,” I wanted to logically tell her what was wrong. I yelled it because I was frustrated for her not seeing that.
I’ve never heard any athlete utter anything near that. I think it’s hysterical. I’ve also heard that you’re overly dramatic out there. For instance if you get hit by a ball, what usually happens to you?
Not hit by a ball, I’m tougher than that!
That’s just the example they gave me. Don’t yell at me.
Well, everything has a reason. I have never gotten seriously injured throughout my career. I’ve never torn a ligament in my knee or broken a bone or something.
That’s very lucky.
Yeah, so every time something hurts or I go down for a second I always think, “this is the one.” So I’m always envisioning this career ending ligament tear. I’m not trying to be dramatic or find things overly painful; I just get scared.
The way your friends told it to me, you get hit by a ball, scream very loudly, go down hard, roll around in agony and then just jog away.
That’s completely false. But one time at practice we were having a best fake dive competition, so we staged it where someone drove the ball into my chest and then I flopped hard.
[Laughing] That’s what she said.
I was voted best on the team for faking it.
[Laughing] Do you fake it a lot?
Are you OK?
No, no I don’t.
Why are you laughing so much?
I don’t know I’m sorry.
What did you think I meant?
I’m not a faker!
That’s good to hear.
4. This comment also bothered me. Have you ever claimed to be able to drink 35 beers in one sitting?
I did it freshman year.
I think it was on the first night of Hanukah or something.
I swear! It was the weirdest thing because I don’t even like beer that much.
Well, this deserves a story. By the way, you do realize your parents will probably be reading this right?
I think it was actually 32 beers.
Still! 32 beers in one sitting? I want the timing of it, I want where you were, and I want who set this up!
It was townhouse A5 on the first night of Hanukah, and it was one of the first nights I could really let loose because the season was over. So we had a reason to celebrate and like 10 cases in this townhouse.
So then you thought, I want to drink 32 beers?
No it wasn’t intended. When the night was over, we just counted them up and it was 32.
See this doesn’t fly with me. I refuse to believe it. I would have trouble drinking 32 beers in one sitting. And I like to drink, I would say, and I am a guy.
OK, but I never really drank beers for a long time before this.
Right that would make it harder!
No it made it easier! Come this Saturday night and I’ll show you how many beers I can drink!
I just doubt 32 beers! I mean maybe over 8 or 9 hours …
Well, it was from some time in the night to sometime in the middle of the night.
Could you be more vague right now? You couldn’t try to be more vague.
Obviously I don’t remember much about that night OK.
Do you think it is possible that your pathological liar brain made up that number in the morning?
No, because someone counted with me and verified it!
Nonsense. I feel like you only need two or three anyways.
If we’re trying to be honest here, I just prefer shots.
My kind of girl.
5. I’m going to get a little personal, but this is too good to pass up. I heard than when you undress in the locker-room, you take off everything before your cleats and shin guards. Please tell me this is true?
Thank you very much.
But I’m a logical girl. Top to bottom just makes sense to me.
People say it looks funny but I just think it’s easier. I mean, I just want to get out of my sweaty shirt and sports bra.
Doesn’t it make it harder to take off your shorts when you have your cleats still on?
Not at all.
So you sit down completely naked to take off your shoes?
No, I never untie my shoes; I like them loose and just slip them off.
You’re full of some amazing little quirks. I just don’t understand the logic of it all. No one else on the team does it right?
I don’t think so. But apparently everyone on the team is watching me undress. I don’t watch them!
If someone does something like that, I feel like you’re prone to look at them though.
I didn’t even realize that I did it, but [junior] Stacey McLeod is very good at pointing it out to me and telling me that I am being a freak.
So she likes to watch you undress I guess.
Yeah, she is the freak!
Not to keep harping on this, but I just think it is weird because it is maximum exposure as opposed to minimum exposure.
Oh, I don’t care about that. No one cares about that.
6. Let’s get to your freshman year now, what happened in Mann library?
[Puts hands up to mouth in horror.] Oh my God. That’s so bad.
Who wrote that?
No one, my sources are anonymous.
Oh my God! That is so terrible that someone would write that.
Why? See, now I am intrigued.
No nothing happened.
Well, obviously something happened.
Nothing, I just study there everyday.
Nope, not going to fly. Could it possibly be more embarrassing than the last question?
It’s nothing. Nothing happened in Mann library!
Do you want me to posture a guess?
No, please don’t.
7. Alright, moving right along. I hate to bring it up, but I usually need to talk about the team at some point in these interviews. The team is kind of struggling right now, you girls have lost eight in a row and were shut out in seven in a row. But you started out 4-3. So I’m wondering what happened?
Well the obvious thing is that we have had a lot of season ending injuries. Beyond that, it is a cliché, but there is not much of a difference between losing by a goal and winning by a goal and we’ve lost a lot of one-goal games. As our coach always says, it is a mental thing where we think that scoring is an impossible feat.
That’s not good.
Yeah, so if we get down a goal, we think the game is over.
I see. But you scored last game. So it is not impossible!
Right. I just want to say that it wasn’t really me. I mean it was me who kicked it in, but [senior] Kara [Lewis] did all the work.
So it was an open goal?
Completely open, and I couldn’t have kicked it any softer. It barely rolled in and I felt like the wind was about to blow it out. It was the most pathetic goal ever.
It is a goal nonetheless.
Our team has had a frustrating year, but it is going to get better. Our coaches are awesome.
So in the future, you’ll be better. But unfortunately this weekend is your last career game. I always ask for predictions so give me a prediction against Columbia.
I really like playing Columbia because I know a girl on the team and she, in my opinion, is their only good player. She can score on anyone but I don’t think their team has it quite together for her to do well.
So you’re going to win?
We’re going to win 2-1.
8. Who is your favorite sports team?
The Seattle Seahawks.
Your second favorite?
What about the Seattle Sounders?
Oh my God. My boyfriend is going to be mad.
Because he doesn’t like them, but they’re just my friends.
But let’s clarify what this team is first?
It’s a soccer team.
A semi-pro soccer team in the Seattle area. It’s not like in the MLS right?
So they’re just like random dudes. Why are you friends with them?
I met them a couple of summers ago, there’s a group of seven guys, and none of them are from the Seattle area. So they didn’t know anything about the city and it was the summertime so I showed them around the city. Seattle in the summer is the best, we went on my friends boat and …
Was this while you were dating yeur boyfriend?
I would probably be upset about that.
Well he knows they’re just friends. And I’m just one of the guys with them.
9. This is a very random question but I also thought it was funny. When was the last time you sat in Santa’s lap?
Last Christmas. And the Christmas before that and the Christmas before that. It is like a tradition in my family.
So you just go to a random mall in Seattle and sit on Santa’s lap? That must be pretty weird for you now.
Well, it is weirder for my 25-year-old brother.
Yeah, that’s just not right. What the hell is wrong with your parents?
Don’t say that, it’s cool!
I’ll let the readers decide that one.
The thing is, I don’t know when it is going to stop. I don’t think any of us intended for it to go this long. It is what we get my mom for Christmas. We sit in Santa’s lap, get our picture taken and give it to her. She loves it and puts them up on our fireplace.
And you do it every year?
Yeah, so we have 25 pictures up there, I’m only in 21 of them.
I think other families do that.
No they don’t. You can’t all sit in Santa’s lap now though right?
No, that’s true, now it is just me.
Probably Santa’s happiest day of the year.
10. Who is the hottest men’s team at Cornell?
OK, so one of my friends who was begging me to say the offensive linemen.
Was it possibly [junior quarterback] Nathan Ford? He loves them.
No, it wasn’t him.
But the offensive linemen aren’t a team. So would you say football?
I don’t know if I’d go with football.
Maybe just one section of the team but not the whole team.
You’re actually not going to say football?
Why would I do that?
I could think of some reasons for you to say that.
I don’t know who it would be. I think baseball players are really cute and the track team too, because they said women’s soccer was the hottest.
Yeah in last week’s 10 Questions [senior co-captain] Jimmy Wyner did that. But I need an official answer.
I’ll go with … [5 second pause] football.
There you go. And do you have any vested interest in football?
Is there someone on the team you enjoy personally?
And what’s his name?
[Junior] Graham Rihn. He’s a linebacker.
No one has ever mentioned the name of a boyfriend or girlfriend before, this might be a 10 Questions first.
The cherry is popped. Last question real quick, do you wear a pin of him?
Yes my mom made me a pin with a picture of him.
[Laughing] No more questions.
Lance Williams is a Sun Assistant Sports Editor. He can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org. 10 Questions appears every Thursday until Lance gets beaten by Graham Rihn for talking about his girlfriend’s locker room exploits.