April 11, 2010

The Ad Savant: Now That’s What I Call Music! (-28)

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Let’s be real: Too many commercials on television royally suck. The Hypodermic Needle Theory is a bust — we viewers do not absorb product desire simply through visual osmosis. Sure, sitting on my couch watching a Wife Swap marathon isn’t exactly the most intelligent thing I could do every Wednesday afternoon (hypothetically speaking), but that doesn’t make me the Scarecrow. Luckily, a few companies with notoriously tragic advertising have come forth saying, “Hey — so I know that you’d much rather be watching Wife Swap (still hypothetically), but if you can suck it up for 15 seconds, this ain’t gonna be yo’ nanna’s commercial.” Or something along those lines.

Kotex “Apology”: Tampon commercials are awkward. Like Cracked.com (as my writing professor would say, “Cite that shit!”) said, it’s as if all women are filled with windshield wiper fluid, crave wearing white and love spinning in circles — how come? Thank you, Kotex, for realizing the error of your ways and proceeding to make a commercial about your own ridiculousness. This commercial is a sardonic montage of old Kotex commercials, so good job exemplifying what a public fool you used to be.

McDonalds “Singing Fish”: This has been stuck in my head since the song first came out in 2009 — I’m thrilled McDonalds kept the tune around for a second spot. I sing it often; I sing it proud. It reminds me of a simpler time when a house was not a home without having a plastic bass in the kitchen and every time something would move in front of its laser-eye, Bobby McFerrin would start harmonizing with himself. (Side note: You can actually buy the Filet-O-Fish Fish! I’ll be getting one in the next few days.)

Geico “Ringtone”: I can only assume that insurance commercials are difficult to make tolerable, as most either play off of the inherent fear of death by horrifying accident or they feature annoying characters who make me think that I’m taking crazy pills. I’ve never been particularly thrilled with the Geico Gecko, but this spot has seeped so deeply into my brain that my roommate had to verbally state that no, I could not have “The Boss’s Ringtone” as my own (… but it actually is my ringtone).

Original Author: Sydney Arkin