April 29, 2010

Burn Baby Burn

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Last week, we embarked on an international drinking tour, finding inspiration in my alcohol-drenched semester abroad. Speaking the universal language of Drunk, we imbibed our way through France, Belgium, the Czech Republic and even Serbia, finding the most culturally appropriate ways to black out in these various locales. Jet-setting never tasted so good.

This week I had epic plans to continue our travels through Spain and Italy, as my awkwardly late Spring Break was finally supposed to begin. Unfortunately, Eyjafjallajökull had other ideas. For the uninformed among you, a volcano off the coast of Iceland decided to explode last week, sending a menacing ash cloud over much of Western Europe. Air travel came to a standstill, and therefore, so did my glorious vacation itinerary. Sipping (read: pounding) sangria in Barcelona? Forget about it.  Boozing in the streets of Roma with an accompanying slice of pizza in hand? Nope. Completely crushing Italy with uncontrollable bevRAGING throughout Florence, Venice and Milan? Don’t even think about it. Who knew volcanoes were such prohibitionists?

With my international voyages put on hold, I only had one thought on my mind — how would I be able to serve you, the reader, with your weekly dose of rage? Rather than letting this gosh-darned volcano get me down, I did what I had to do — I turned it into a source of inspiration. When you think about it, cocktails and volcanoes aren’t so different. Just like a good drink, volcanoes look awesome, have a nice burn to them and definitely shake up the system. Today I give you a collection of volcanically inspired concoctions that will make us forget all about our lost travels (as well as everything else). Feel the burn.


½ oz. Vodka

½ oz. tomato juice

Tabasco sauce



When I think volcano, I think hot, fiery magma. While most famous for its ability to melt pretty much anything, lava also makes for a delicious bevRAGE experience. Combine vodka and tomato juice in a shot glass. Add five to six drops of Tabasco sauce. Top with salt and pepper. Shoot it back. Oh baby.

Flaming Volcano

1 oz. light rum

1 oz. brandy

1 oz. 151-proof rum

4 oz. orange juice

2 oz. lemon juice

2 oz. almond-flavored syrup

If nothing else, this Icelandic volcano has brought us all closer together in our time of need. Similarly, this collective cocktail serves a group of four. Combine ingredients in a blender filled with ice. Blend until smooth. Serve in a volcano bowl — a ceramic bowl with a central crater. Fill crater with rum and ignite. Serve with long straws (we don’t want anyone getting burned).

The Eyjafjallajökull Cocktail

¾ oz. melon liqueur

¾ oz. chilled pineapple juice

¾ oz. vodka

¾ oz. 151-proof rum

Eyjafjallajökul is a bitch. This drink stings like one. Layer ingredients in the above order in a tall, narrow glass. Ignite the rum, and shoot it back. Burn baby, burn.Contrary to popular belief, volcanoes are an alcoholic’s best friend. RLD

Original Author: Milos Balac