November 16, 2010

The Worst Moment of Your Term Hands Down Huh?

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In 2005, Kanye West dropped the ultimate truth bomb. On that fateful Hurricane Katrina telethon, Yeezy stunned Mike Meyers and the nation with the burn heard ’round the world: “George Bush doesn’t care about black people.” Snap! I mean, I gotta give ’Ye his props. That was an excellent moment in television history. Mike Myers’ face for that split second was funnier than all of the Austin Powers movies combined. Which is pretty funny, in case you were wondering. The last one was pretty lame, but those first two movies were my elicit elementary school jam.

Fast forward to now. Former President George W. Bush, that guy who didn’t care about black people, or poor people, or gay people, or female people, has written a memoir. As much as the ramblings of semi-literate country destroyer intrigue me, I haven’t really had a chance to pick that one up yet. And just in case you haven’t, either, dude is doing a tour to promote the shit out of that thing. So he went on the Today Show, right. And Matt Lauer (you know, the glib one), asked him about the lowest point in his presidency. President Dumbshit, you see, wrote in his book that the comment by Kanye West, preeminent cultural critic, was it. The absolute worst. Lauer wanted to give ol’ Dubya a chance to redeem himself, because Matt Lauer inexplicably loves the Bushes. I don’t really understand it myself, but to each news anchor his own gross American political dynasty, or whatever.

But Bush doesn’t take the bait. No, that really was the lowest point in his presidency. Having a pop star call him a racist. Not 9/11, not “Mission Accomplished.” Not even that time he choked on a pretzel. No, those weren’t so bad. Kanye West, you see, really hurt the President’s feelings.

Now, I love Kanye West. I think he is a straight-up genius. Mostly because I really love cheesy soul records. I am even a 808s and Heartbreak apologist. The man revolutionized the face of hip hop and popular music. I am a super fan. I just have to get that out of the way.

If I were the President of the United States, though, would I really care about what Kanye thinks of me? I mean, I hope not. That is a slippery slope. Once you start caring about what Kanye thinks, then you might start caring about what, like, Lil B the Based God thinks, and it’s really only a matter of time before the semi-coherent Twitter ramblings of all manner of entertainer start keeping you up at night. “Standup Joe in Milwaukee said that my wife is ugly and also I am dumb!” That Joe, what a character. I mean, seriously. If I was George Bush, I would be much more upset by Lil Wayne’s “Georgia… Bush,” anyway. Now that is a life ruiner.

I’m not saying that West’s jibe didn’t have merit, because it definitely did. And Yeezy has dropped poignant social commentary on us before, no doubt (see: Late Registration. All of it). But I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that the former Leader of the Free World led us into two unsuccessful wars, completely bungled a natural disaster, fucked over our economy and generally embarrassed himself on the daily counts being called a racist by a young rapper as his lowest moment. I just can’t.

If I remember correctly, this is a guy who took every chance to invoke 9/11 that he could. He would bring that shit out at every possible opportunity, warranted or no. So why not now? Lauer lobbed him that softball on a silver platter. The one time it would have been perfectly appropriate to do a little Twin Tower reflecting, and instead the guy names the time the self-proclaimed Louis Vuitton Don called him out on a telethon.

If his lowest point was Katrina itself, right, that would have made some sense. Talk about a terrible tragedy. It’d be perfectly plausible if he said the hurricane was the lowest moment in his life, not just his eight years in office. But no, it wasn’t the lives lost or the homes destroyed that got to our dear old President Bush II, it was the fact that somebody called him out on his racist, classist shit. I just can’t fathom that level of self-absorption.

Basically, the point I’m hammering away at here, is “I love you Kanye. Keep doing you.” Seriously, guys. My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy is on that next level shit. And if you could find it in your heart to continue calling out blowhard politicians, that’d be pretty great too. Please, ruin Michele Bachmann’s life. She’s been making mine a living hell.

Original Author: Elana Dahlager