May 10, 2016

JAIN | On Tinder

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Caution: this is a low-key sentimental column. Lots of feelings, lots of emotions. I listen to lots of Drake. There might be some jokes here or there, but mostly just heartfelt words about the machinations of my inner soul. But yeah anyways, here’s my column.

Everybody has that one person, or several people, that they seem to see everywhere on campus. You don’t know their name, you don’t know what they’re like and you’ve never heard their voice, but they’re really damn hot. Since you’ve never been introduced, there’s nothing to do but avoid eye contact and wonder why, of all the people at this crunchy ass school, this one person has such a presence in your life. And why you most likely have such a presence in theirs.

Spring semester of 2015, which was the latter half of my sophomore year, I took two art history courses. There was a girl in both of those classes whom I recognized from one of the art history courses I had taken the semester before. It was a strange coincidence that we had so many schedule overlaps, especially with the extensive list of art history classes offered to fulfill the major. I even started seeing her more around other parts of campus; she was my mystery I-see-you-everywhere person. She was also the most attractive person I had probably ever seen, so I definitely wasn’t complaining.

Three full semesters passed and neither of us spoke to each other or made eye contact, but clearly we knew who the other was. We kept having classes together — small, discussion-style classes — yet somehow defied all odds and never once spoke. I sat behind her for a number of hours I don’t want to try and calculate, saw her at least once a week in passing somewhere else on campus and ran into her at open parties. It wasn’t until March of this semester that we finally broke down the invisible wall and started talking. Oh also this happened on Tinder.

People give Tinder a tough break because of its pure focus on physical attractiveness and its intended purpose as the premier hookup app. Don’t get me wrong, I downloaded Tinder for the same reason every other hormone-riddled youth on this campus did. However, the app deserves so much more credit than I previously thought. I have Tinder to thank for giving me another friend at Cornell; once we matched (wink wink) it provided the channel to be able to start talking to this person who I had “known” for over a year and a half but hadn’t had the gall or the right situation to be able to become familiar with. My clever ice breaker of “hey u wanna talk about some art type shit” resulted in us exchanging numbers and starting to finally figure out why the universe was so insistent that we know each other.

If you’re asking yourself how this fairytale ends, the answer is that it’s still in progress. By this I mean she still hasn’t replied to my original message. If you’re reading this mystery art history beauty, please reply. I promise I’m a fun and nice guy. Nah, just kidding. She’s my girlfriend now. God bless Tinder. Sorry for the sentimental post. Have a great finals week everyone! And if you get bored, download tinder and start swiping. You never know who you might meet.