I met Fabio during the February Break of my sophomore year. To preface, I was going through a pretty wild phase. I had just broken up with my first boyfriend of three months. I was scoring a lot of hookups off of Grindr. I was coming out to people left and right. Needless to say, I was always on the lookout for ways to truly strut my queerness. February Break rolled around, and I decided to go on a trip to Boston with some friends. On the menu for the weekend was sightseeing, seafood, drinking and cock.
During our final day there, I decided to head over to Boston University to visit one of my childhood friends. I ordered my Uber and was informed of my driver’s name: Fabio. The Uber arrived and as I approached it, I noticed an Equality sticker on his back windshield. I instantly thought to myself, “Oh, how funny would it be if Fabio was a queer male that I ended up fucking?” Now let me tell everyone reading this something: Manifesting your destiny sometimes can come about in funny ways. From Downtown Boston to Boston University, it’s about a 30-minute drive with traffic. For 30 minutes, Fabio was the biggest flirt I have ever met. A 28-year-old from Brazil, Fabio had a thick accent that entranced my ears. He had one of the brightest smiles that have ever pierced my eyes. He had a laugh that warmed my heart. He wanted to know every detail about me, down to my Social Security number — kidding — but he honestly demonstrated true interest in my life. It was something new and refreshing compared to all my hookup-only rendezvouses. By the end of our ride, we had exchanged Instagram handles and agreed to go on a date that night.
Before I start to bash Fabio, I should inform everyone that he was a real gentleman that night. He bought my movie ticket, popcorn and root beer. When the movie we saw got boring — it was The Favourite — he made out with me to keep me occupied. Later that night, he even agreed to bottom because I only wanted to top. Through and through, Fabio was a great guy.
The next morning rolled along, and my friends and I were leaving the city. Here is the dialogue that ensued between Fabio and I:
Me: “Fabio, you have to leave.”
Fabio: “No, I want to stay with you.”
Me: “Fabio, you can’t stay cause I’m not staying either. I’m literally leaving the city in 10 minutes.”
Fabio: “I can stay with you for a couple more hours.”
Needless to say, I left the city 10 minutes later, and I haven’t talked to Fabio since. Now, did Fabio message me every day on Instagram for months? Yes. Did he send a one-year text to commemorate our night together this past February? Yes. Did Fabio beg to come visit me? Yes.
I learned a lot from Fabio, and for that, I’m grateful. First, Fabio helped me realize I couldn’t be the dom in the relationship. I just realized I did not care to satisfy any man’s needs other than my own. As a result, I have now committed to be a sub bottom, for I want to be sought after and treasured while also fulfilling my sexual needs of taking cock. Second, Fabio helped me realize I probably shouldn’t just hook up with complete strangers. Now, that one I didn’t internalize, and I went on to continue hooking up with complete strangers. Some of whom I still don’t know their names. Third, Fabio showed me how crazy men can be. I know I’m a really charismatic, intelligent twink with a thick ass and decent cock, but I really was confused on why Fabio was that obsessed with me? I’m flattered with the nonstop attention, but sometimes it just feels overdone. Finally, Fabio made me realize that maybe I did want a relationship in my life. Our car conversation was really enjoyable, and I decided it would be nice to find a man I could do more of those types of conversations with. I decided that I wouldn’t mind finding a relationship one day that was both refreshing on a social and a sexual level.
Fabio, if you for some reason ever read this, please don’t take this as a sign to message me. I’m glad we did our one-time fuck, but it doesn’t have to be any more than that. I learned a lot about myself from it, and I don’t think I’d learn anything more from additional time with you. Next time I’m in Boston, I won’t be messaging you, but I will be thinking of you. I will also be using Lyft instead.
Dick N. Diaz is a student at Cornell University. Comments can be sent to [email protected]. His Sex on Thursday column runs alternate Thursdays this semester.