Halloween season is fully upon us, which means it’s the time of year to stuff our faces with candy and feel no remorse. In our childhood days of trick-or-treating, we all had our favorite candies that we would trade anything for and others that we would gladly give away for free. But which candies are objectively the best? I’ll use the following four metrics to score many of our favorite chocolate based candies (sorry chocolate haters). This will be scored from one to five with five being the best.
- Bingeability: How much can you reasonably eat without feeling absolutely terrible?
- Mouth-Feel: Texture, how enjoyable is it to eat?
- Popularity: Is it a fan favorite or does it have a niche market?
- Design: Does the design enhance the experience of eating the candy? Is it unique?
M&Ms
This is an absolute classic fan favorite. You can even keep them in your backpack for weeks and they’ll still be edible! Although every color tastes the same, a fun fact is that the brown M&M is the least abundant.
Bingeability: 5
Mouth-Feel: 4
Popularity: 5
Design: 5
Milky Way
A nougat topped with caramel and covered in chocolate, this is a general crowd pleaser in the U.S. Other places in the world call it a Mars Bar. I’ve never met anyone who said they disliked Milky Ways.
Bingeability: 3
Mouth-Feel: 5
Popularity: 5
Design: 3
3 Musketeers
Fun fact: 3 Musketeers is made by the same company as Milky Way and M&Ms! It’s very similar to a Milky Way bar, but without the caramel. The abundance of nougat makes this candy bar very hard to binge. Once, I ate an entire king size 3 Musketeers in one sitting and got a toothache.
Bingeability: 1
Mouth-Feel: 3
Popularity: 4
Design: 2
Twix
Twix had a pretty successful ‘Left Twix, Right Twix’ marketing campaign a few years ago, and they’re still riding its wave. Twix are also made by the same producer as 3 Musketeers, Milky Way and M&Ms. Twix is a shortbread topped with caramel and coated in chocolate. The producer, Mars Inc., sure has an affinity for coating things in chocolate!
Bingeability: 4
Mouth-Feel: 5
Popularity: 5
Design: 4
Kit Kat
Milk chocolate covered wafers in a shareable form. Great texture and fun to break apart and eat! Kourtney Kardasian even has a super wacky way to eat it.
Bingeability: 5
Mouth-Feel: 5
Popularity: 5
Design: 5
Crunch
This is a chocolate bar filled with crispy puffed rice balls. The texture of the crispy rice nicely balances out the creaminess of the chocolate.
Bingeability: 3
Mouth-Feel: 5
Popularity: 4
Design: 4
Hersheys
This is your classic American chocolate bar. Largely used in the s’mores making process, this chocolate comes off a bit waxy and is definitely not comparable to artisan or high quality chocolate.
Bingeability: 2
Mouth-Feel: 2
Popularity: 5
Design: 2
Butterfinger
Butterfinger is yet another chocolate coated candy bar. It’s interior is a flaky layered filling of hard sugar candy mixed with peanut butter. While the first few bites are delicious, this filling is simply too rich to binge eat.
Bingeability: 1
Mouth-Feel: 4
Popularity: 3
Design: 3
Junior Mints
These chocolate coated, bite-sized mints are seriously the best. Personally, I think keeping them in the fridge makes the minty part taste so much better!
Bingeability: 4
Mouth-Feel: 5
Popularity: 5
Design: 4
Tootsie Roll
Apparently, this chocolate flavored taffy candy does not actually contain any chocolate. That would explain the artificial flavor. Every time I eat a tootsie roll, I get annoyed about how it sticks to my back teeth.
Bingeability: 3
Mouth-Feel: 2
Popularity: 3
Design: 2
Snickers
Out of all candy advertisements, I see the Snickers ones the most by far. There’s really not much to dislike about this candy. A nougat topped with caramel and peanuts, coated in chocolate, it’s a general crowd pleaser (unless you’re allergic to nuts, that is).
Bingeability: 3
Mouth-Feel: 4
Popularity: 5
Design: 3
Reeces
These peanut butter cups are just so good! They’ve really perfected the texture of the peanut butter filling, and the ratio of chocolate to peanut butter is flawless. The only downside I can think of is that these cups melt super easily.
Bingeability: 4
Mouth-Feel: 5
Popularity: 5
Design: 3
Almond Joy
I used to absolutely hate Almond Joys. This is the candy bar I would give away for free to my siblings after a night of trick-or-treating. I think it was just something about the flavor of the coconut filling I didn’t like but now that my palette has refined itself a little bit, it’s one of my favorite chocolate candies.
Bingeability: 2
Mouth-Feel: 5
Popularity: 1
Design: 3
Winner: Kit Kat!
There’s just nothing to dislike about Kit Kats. The crunchy texture of the wafers, combined with the melt-in-your-mouth milk chocolate, can’t be beat! The fun experience of breaking off each piece is just the icing on the cake. Kit Kats also come in a variety of yummy flavors, from green tea to white and dark chocolate.
Margaret Chan is a senior in the College of Engineering. She can be reached at [email protected].