It’s 4:50 on a Wednesday afternoon and hundreds of tipsy students are pouring out of Statler Hall. HADM 4300, or just “Wines,” as everyone lovingly calls it, has just ended. Approximately 6 one-ounce pours later, the students, progressing wonderfully along their wine journey, are unleashed onto campus. It is, dare I say it, the horniest time to be a Cornellian.
I’d be willing to bet that it’s not Friday or Saturday night that prompts the most “are you around later” texts, but rather these late Wednesday afternoons. I’m currently taking Wines (dry Riesling girl here) and have begun to notice a certain vibe in the air as I leave class. The crowds exiting the Statler exude sex, and my brain has caught on.
Wine is famously an aphrodisiac. Scientifically, the ethanol in wine stimulates the hypothalamus, the part of our brain that controls sexual impulses. One study found that regular moderate consumption of red wine is associated with better sexual capacity in women, including arousal and lubrication. Another study similarly found that moderate consumption of red wine can be advantageous for men with erectile dysfunction, and with sexual function as a whole.
Beyond those general benefits, I still feel there’s something post-Wines that even further increases libido. Partially, I think this can be attributed to the time; most students are done with classes for the day and the sun is setting, but the night is young. For the many people whose weekends start Wednesday nights, Wines is the perfect turning point from the stacks to the sheets. For a budding hookup, Wednesday is coincidentally a prime day; without the pressure of a Friday or Saturday or the sadness of a Sunday or Monday, something about Wednesdays screams casual sex.
My own non-research-backed theory is that being tipsy in a large group does a lot of the work of making us horny. The vibe just wouldn’t be the same if Wines were a thirty-person seminar. It’s the thrill of being intoxicated with unfamiliar faces. Maybe that guy in row M could be something more: anything is possible post-Wines. The collective chatter, increasing with each drink, quickly creates ease among strangers.
From a slightly sentimental perspective, Wines also highlights our independence. Drinking in class, and ostensibly actually knowing what you’re talking about, feels great. It’s being an adult in the sexiest way possible. After all, there’s nothing hotter than knowing which AOC in Bordeaux that Merlot came from, and then getting drunk off it.
If you’re in Wines, take advantage of the post-class horniness (there aren’t many weeks left!). I’ve personally embraced a walk-home call to my long-distance fling, who has begun to notice the correlation between Wednesdays and great phone sex.
Just recently, Professor Stanley noted that the person sitting next to your randomly assigned seat could be your future spouse. I won’t go that far. They could, however, be your sex buddy. And if you’re not in HADM 4300, don’t despair! You can strategically plan some texts or Tinder swipes for Wednesday afternoons when they’re certain to hit the right audience.
Wines is a great Cornell tradition. Post-Wines sex could be an even better one. Let’s make it happen.
Whorat is a student at Cornell University. Her fortnightly column Cowgirl Chronicles is a discussion and exploration of sexual norms and cultural quirks with a dash of feminist theory.
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