SEX ON THURSDAY | The Power in Polygamy

Will you ever find “the one?” Probably not, so stop being a sucker and start enjoying the pleasant world of polygamy. Now you can have all of your sexual and romantic desires fulfilled whenever is most convenient to you, “albeit in a three-unit form,” Brat Baby.

STELLA | Ithaca Is The #4 College Town in America — Why?

Many of you probably never knew that. Some might ask yourselves this very question every time Cornell makes us walk to class in negative 20 degree weather. To all of us, it might seem strange to find our little town just behind Madison, Wisconsin. Ithaca is the fourth best college town in America, according to people who have (obviously) never been here for more than a spring weekend. Behind only Boulder, Colorado, Ann-Arbor, Michigan and Madison, Wisconsin we hold our heads high above the likes of Berkeley, Bloomington, hell even Cambridge (take that Harvard, we’re the best of the Ivies in something).

FOX | The Fox News Freakout Over Dr. Seuss Exposes Political Right’s Emptiness

Choosing to fight battles that were never even issues to begin with has become a hallmark of the GOP and Fox News. Case in point: “Cancelling” Dr. Seuss. While his works are now rightfully being recognized for their racist undertones and are no longer being emphasized by some school districts, “The Cat in the Hat” can still be found on library bookshelves.

GUEST ROOM | E is for Empathy: A Reintroduction to EARS

Last week, the University announced that Empathy, Assistance and Referral Service would no longer offer peer counseling, as this kind of service is not insured by the University. EARS, however, will still continue as an organization, though now without the peer counseling service that we are best known for. Confusion, outrage, disappointment and dozens of questions like “Why?” and “How?” and “How do we fix it?” spread over Zoom calls, Facebook posts and even Reddit threads after the news broke. These responses are understandable. After all, how do you reconcile a peer counseling organization with no peer counseling?

ONONYE | Happy Early International Women’s Day. Here’s How to be a Better Cornell Feminist

I know this is a week early, but considering that my column is titled Womansplaining, there is no way that I’d pass up on a chance to write a column about International Women’s Day ––and more broadly, Women’s History Month. This year’s United Nations’ theme for International Women’s Day is “Women in Leadership: Achieving an Equal Future in a COVID-19 World.” That is a long (and very important!) title, emphasizing the importance of elevating women into leadership positions amidst the COVID-19 pandemic. There is obviously no perfect feminist (contrary to my Instagram bio where I self proclaim myself the “professional feminist”) and no right way to advocate for women or gender justice. However, if you’re thinking about ways to be a gender advocate on campus this month, here are eight ways to be a “better” Cornell feminist. 

Take a class in feminist, gender and sexuality studies. 

If you’ve met me at any point in the last three years, you probably know my mantra: “Every person should have to take a feminist, gender and sexuality studies course on campus before they graduate.” Throughout my FGSS career, I have studied Beyonce’s impact on feminism, marital rape laws, the Disney princesses, Nigerian feminist poets, Greek life on college campuses and influencer culture. Every aspect of your life, past or present, has to do with gender.

TAARIQ | Thoughts on My First In-Person Class

Freshman year me, waking up for an 8:40 a.m. physics class in single digit temperatures, would be envious of my online semester. The thought of sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with classmates in hard seats, shoveling through backpack pockets for a pencil, while sniffles and coughs ripple across the room, seems like punishment compared to class from my bedroom. 

With online classes, missing a lecture is not a problem if they’re all recorded. You don’t have to guess someone’s name. No need to speak up if you can just type. Running between classes becomes opening a new tab.

LETTER TO THE EDITOR: RE: “School Spirit Must Be Sacrificed for Public Safety”

To the Editor:

The title of the article, “School Spirit Must Be Sacrificed for Public Safety” makes one major assumption about athletics at Cornell. Athletics do not equate to school spirit, in fact they represent much more than what spectators, fans and otherwise non-participatory parties see on the outside. 

Speaking on behalf of fellow athletes, most of us have worked hard our entire lives for an opportunity to put our abilities to the test at the highest levels of performance. Our personal journeys in athletics should not be reduced to something that is enjoyed primarily as entertainment. With the cancellation of spring competition, the Ivy League has played with the heartstrings of

athletes across the country. We do not need to hear from people, mainly non-athletes and professors, constantly chiming in on the conversation about what athletes should think about having our seasons canceled.

CHEN | Could AI Really Take Over the World?

The Artificial Intelligence of Hollywood has gotten everyone worried about a future run by robots. However, there are many aspects of our day-to-day interactions that AI is, as of yet, incapable of mirroring. Emotion, morality and personality are things not easily reduced to the positive and negative values of code. We’re safe for now.

LETTER TO THE EDITOR: RE: “Where Do the ‘Florida Morons’ Go for Their Apology”

To the Editor:

As a Floridian who spent last semester at home due to Florida’s placement on a COVID-19 travel advisory, I feel compelled to respond to Matthew Samilow’s column, “Where do the Florida Morons Go For Their Apology?” 

Part of Samilow’s defense of Gov. Ron DeSantis (R-F.L.) asserts that he’s a victim of unfair (liberal) media. Media criticism and scrutiny of DeSantis is dismissed as “hysterical”, while Samilow ignores why DeSantis’s handling of the pandemic is so unpopular in Florida. During the pandemic, DeSantis has argued against science itself by listening to the anti-mask advice of the infamous conspiracy theorist Dr. Scott Atlas more than epidemiologists. He modeled poor leadership by appearing at public events like the Super Bowl without a mask. DeSantis’s crusade against science extended to basic arithmetic, when he argued in July that Florida’s positive case count had stabilized –– it hadn’t.

SAMILOW | Where Do the ‘Florida Morons’ Go for Their Apology?

About a year ago, with the coronavirus pandemic in its infancy, my fellow columnist Andrew Lorenzen ’22 penned a column criticizing Gov. Ron DeSantis (R-Fla.), former Governor and current Senator Rick Scott (R-Fla.) and, indeed, the entire Florida Republican Party as a collection of “morons” leading the state to the brink of ruin. 

Describing himself as an “ashamed Florida Man,” Lorenzen portrayed Florida as a hellscape, with criminally stupid leadership causing mass death. At the time, I thought this was an unfair judgment. In hindsight, it is abundantly clear that DeSantis and my home state are owed an apology. As a fellow Floridian, I feel an obligation to set the record straight.Few things have been more detached from reality than appraisals of DeSantis’s handling of the coronavirus pandemic. Their only rivals are reviews of Gov. Andrew Cuomo’s (D-N.Y.) Emmy Award-winning performance.