As a native New Yorker, I love walking. No really, love it. I love it so much that sometimes I would elect to walk the two miles to or from my high school in lieu of taking the subway. Other times, I would spend my whole day just strolling. Back in June, I even walked the entire length of Manhattan, all 11 and a half miles. Now, as much as I love walking, I feel a bit different about hiking. In fact, I have grown to hate it. And at Cornell University, “walking” seems to really mean “hiking.”
I have a method of rating the enjoyability of any given walk that can be taken at Cornell. I place things on a graph with three axes: How out of breath I am at the end of it, how much I sweat and how aesthetically pleasing the walk was. Time is not really a factor, as it is my own acknowledged fault for leaving too late and giving myself spare time for transit. Additionally, if length were a factor, then this list would just be a ranking of routes from shortest to longest. And now, without further ado, some of the worst walks on campus.
The fourth worst walk at Cornell University is from the Dairy Bar to Appel Commons. There’s the short way and the long way. The long way is to take Tower Road all the way back to Central and to cross one of the two usual bridges. The other way is to cut through the botanical gardens and go around the back of Beebe Lake. This way is truly a hike. Most of the way is gravel or dirt, not even paved, and it can be steep and confusing at times. So, although this walk rates high on the sweat and the out of breath scales, its sheer beauty keeps it at the bottom of this list.
The third worst walk is the infamous journey from West campus to Central, via the slope. Although it rates high on the out of breath scale, the short length of the walk generally ensures that I am not sweating at the end. It is also a very aesthetically pleasing walk. That said, the slope is SO steep, that it often gives me trouble when wearing certain shoes (like heeled boots), and can be incredibly slippery when it rains or snows or ices over. Yay!
The second worst walk on campus is from North campus to Bailey Hall. This walk consists of walking down the long hill from North, crossing the bridge behind the Martin Y. Tang Welcome Center and past Martha Van Rensselaer Hall. Although this walk is very scenic and wins points for that, it sucks for two reasons: 1. Hill number one. 2. Hill number two. This walk especially sucks because you get past the bridge, hike up the very steep hill and reach the road, feeling a bit winded but also accomplished. That is, until you cross the road, climb the staircase, gaze up and realize that you have only fought half the battle. By the time you have climbed the second, longer hill, you, depending on the weather that day, might start to sweat. And so, because this walk scores high in both sweat factor and out-of-breathness, it is second.
Now, for this last walk, the one winning first prize as the worst walk on campus, I created a new axis. Because, although I am not sweaty or out of breath afterward, I am almost always angry. Even though it is technically beautiful, I am not able to appreciate that beauty because I am blind with the rage of this invisible slight that has been committed against me. The third axis is inconvenience, and this is probably due to my years spent searching for shortcuts. This walk, as some may have guessed by now, is from Ho Plaza to the Arts Quad. Any other year, this is no big deal at all. But this year, the construction zone surrounding McGraw Tower has wrought ruin upon my day almost every time. Because of this construction, everyday I have to gaze through the fence at my destination, find a way to release all of my rage in a single sigh, and walk behind Uris. Why must I add an unnecessary five minutes to my commute for construction that never seems to be constructed? Why must this take a year? Why make it so infuriatingly tantalizing by closing off such a small portion? Why add fire to the flame of injustice by forbidding those willing to trample the grass in front of Sage? And, as a bonus, WHY close off the main entrance to Uris Library, making it so much more difficult to get to my desired study spot inside of A.D. White Library? My god, it just makes my blood boil more than anything.
Sophie Gross is a freshman in the College of Arts and Sciences. She can be reached at [email protected].
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