April 11, 2024


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We kiss and we laugh, but at first it’s just play 

Since we know we that must now get on with our day 

But things quickly heat up and the clothes come right off 

It happened so fast, we both giggle and scoff 

Soon enough I feel pressure upon my knee distal 

It is his erection, the grand starting pistol 

So he opens his dresser for that bright purple tube, 

The time must have come to pull out the lube

And with two fingers he greases the alleyway

But how come it wasn’t wet anyway? 

The sex was alright, but that’s not my point 

The reliance on lube made the experience less joint

Now don’t get me wrong, lube can be great fun

In fact it’s quite helpful for a very large one

With this reliance on lube in our culture I wonder 

If it’s the mark of a bad sexist blunder 

And just like a penis gets big, nice, and hard 

A vagina ready for sex should need the coastguard 

We should be using of this ev’lutionary feat 

By enjoying the full effect of a WAP in heat 

I hope that  this poem helps you save some cash

By stimulating that vulva you can save the lube for the ass 

Mike Litoris is a student at Cornell University. Comments can be sent to [email protected]Meditations of a Masterbater run alternate Sex on Thursdays this semester.

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