Mary Juanita

Dank Green Goddess Raspberry Matcha ice cream is predicted to win over hearts and blunts alike.

April 20, 2024

Matcha Marijuana Ice Cream: Freedom to be Stoned

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Cornelians have spoken: Sun exit polling predicts that Dank Green Goddess Raspberry Matcha will take the cake, and the Sun could not agree more. On April 20, students from Food Science 1101 shared their ice cream creations with an eager crowd of students, waiting to test flavors. The three flavors that have been developed this year are, Dank Green Goddess Raspberry Matcha, All-Star American VBC (Vanilla, Blueberry, Cherry) and Bananas for Brownies Buds ‘n Blunts.

The winning ice cream flavor will be announced at Slope Day instead of Commencement, as done in previous years. Since Flo Rida recently notified the Student Assembly that a Boogie Wit Da Hoodie would be replaced at Slope Day with Snoop Dog, students are keen to make Cornell as welcoming as possible for the A-list celebrities. Cannabis ice cream is the next logical step. During the wait for the winner to be announced, students can continue to submit their feedback and test the flavors. Snoop Dog and Flo Rida will also be announcing their favorite picks.

However, getting marijuana ice cream approved is going to be an uphill battle. Protests have broken out over Cornell’s status as both a private and public university, where students are demanding that Cornell recognize the ice cream lacing possibilities in other controlled substances. Particularly, students enrolled in Mushrooms have proposed an introduction of freedom of expression themed psilocybin desserts. 

Despite the controversy, keeping with Cornell’s “Freedom of Expression” theme for this academic year, the taste test went on. All ice creams have the same kind of hybrid locally-sourced strain. Dank Green Goddess Raspberry Matcha is a rich, Matcha-based ice cream with raspberry chunks. All-Star American VBC is a red, white and blue combo with vanilla base mixed with blueberries and cherry. Bananas for Brownies Buds ‘n Blunts has a chocolate base with brownie chunks and banana-cream swirls. 

Although all flavors are equally delicious, the unique combination of matcha and raspberry melts in your mouth like no other flavor. A student remarked that after the ice cream, they decided to write a novel about their life experiences, exclaiming that suddenly everything is “okay” and “therapy is no longer needed.” Another student responded with uncontrollable laughter. The rest of the students re-enacted watching the solar eclipse in totality for the first time, saying “woahhhh” in unison. They may have marked the beginning of students embracing their right to be Ivy League stoners.

Mary Juanita is a stoner and Sun contributor. She can be reached at [email protected].