For the past two weeks, the pages of the Cornell Daily Sun have been saturated with columnists eagerly offering unsolicited advice to bright-eyed, bushy-tailed freshmen: Explore Ithaca. Don’t stress. Don’t drink. Don’t think about the future. Think about the future. Smile more. Succeed at sex without really trying.
It’s all fascinating advice, and it’s all based on the absurd notion that the smiling mug shots in this publication know better than you, the reader, how to live your life.
So I’m going to add one more nugget of unqualified advice to the clamor:
Go to a Cornell sporting event and cheer on your team.
I can’t imagine why anyone would get involved with sports journalism. Most aspiring journalists dream of crafting an investigative story to reveal some deep-seated corruption in government; most sports fans avoid writing altogether. Sports journalists apparently come from that dead zone of the Venn diagram between “aspiring journalists” and “sports fans.” It’s not always a rewarding job; athletes whine that they don’t get enough attention and non-athletes complain that they get too much — after all, why spend so much time dissecting the intricacies and storylines of sports, an industry that has been equated with religion as an “opiate for the masses,” at least according to a lecture by Prof. Issac Kramnick, government.