A year ago, give or take, I was hooking up with this guy at a public park in the middle of the night. How we got there doesn’t matter — partially because I forget why we ended up there — but alas, that was the setting. We made out on a park bench for about an hour before this man had the audacity to tell me that he was getting bored.
I remember cocking my head to the side, my brow knitting together in confusion. Surely this boy was not getting bored of me, or of the slightly creepy ambiance we had found ourselves in. When I asked him how he could possibly be bored, he told me that it was because all we were doing was kissing.
Even with his clarification, my confusion wasn’t resolved. Making out is the best thing that humans ever figured out how to do. Kissing, period, is the best thing that has happened to society since men stopped living as nomads and started kissing everyone in their primitive little settlements.