RUBASHKIN | Terminator: The Rise of the Rubio

In late 2015, a group of non-governmental organizations collectively known as “The Campaign to Stop Killer Robots” held several protests outside of the United Nations complex in New York City before being granted an audience with a committee of representatives from several nations. The Campaign to Stop Killer Robots is deadly serious. Rather than focusing on more far-fetched fears à la Skynet or the replicants from Blade Runner, the Campaign aims to stop the spread of the autonomous, computerized weapons that are the bedrock of the Drone Age. I humbly propose that they also recognize the growing threat of another type of killer robot, one so advanced that it has existed under an international spotlight nearly undetected for years. I like to call this type of robot the T-2016, but the public knows him better as Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.).

BERKOWITZ | My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

Dear Ethan,
With all this talk about our next President, I feel compelled to write to you to share my dissatisfaction with the lack of coverage for the strongest candidate who’s announced his intention to run. This candidate has generated considerable buzz since announcing his candidacy, yet nobody is taking him seriously. And it’s ridiculous! Yes, he’s not running until 2020, but I don’t understand why people think Kanye West can’t be President. After considering his background, success and views, I don’t think you or anyone else will be able to deny his legitimacy.