Ivy League Idiosyncrasies
Asian Enginerd: All you have to do is tell a girl you’re taking 26 credits and she’s all over you!
— Oakenshield’s
PILLow Talk
Infected Fellow: Oh, God dammit. There’s my herpes medication.
— Hans Bethe House
Tenured and Housebroken!
Girl 1:I had my professor do [my problem] for me. He’s like my pet professor.
Girl 2: I want a pet professor! One who I won’t have to put out for.
— Catherwood Library
Slippery Slope
Bathroom Broad 1: You know what takes a lot of work to think about but when you finally get inside it feels good?
Bathroom Broad 2: [Long pause] What are you talking about?!
BB1: A shower!
— Carpenter Library
Almost Famous
Indian Kid (on cell phone, walking briskly): So she basically referred to me as Borat’s retarded cousin …
— Duffield
Salivating Over Books
Locker Room Lady: I don’t think I drool in my sleep except when I sleep in the library.
— Teagle
Knocked Outta the Park
Sports Fan Girl: I love you, but … you’re standing in front of the Yankees! Move!
— Collegetown
Anatomically Correct Movies
Neuro Nerd-ette: You have to see this — it’s the best biological animation you’ll ever see.
Rayban-clad Gentleman: Is it better than porn? Because that’s pretty good “biological animation!”
— North Campus
Original Author: Jessica Stitt